God’s Will

Hello Lovely family, hope you have missed us as much as we have missed you. It’s with great joy in our hearts that we present #Godswill. What happens when this will does not align to ours. It’s a long read spiced with a story, settle in and read and we pray that the lessons to be learnt in this are learnt. Now dig in:

I don’t want this one God, that is what I want.
I don’t want to be here just take me there.
God give me this job, I am sure it will suit me better?
No way!
This can’t be happening like this,
This wasn’t how I planned it.
No this isn’t who I want to be married to.
Why am I not married yet?
God say something!
Can you hear me?
Or are you mad at me?
Should I present my desires on my knees?
Is that what you want?
God! Answer me!
I’m getting impatient waiting for the things I want.
I want them and that is all that matters!
Why do I struggle to get almost everything I desire?
Are they not pleasant and good?
Are those not the promises you made to me?
LORD!!!
Why then do I have to struggle this much Lord?
Is my will not yours?

On and on we go, not a breath lost. How can His will not be the same as mine? Are they not in line with his promises. Am I not praying as I ought to?

Stop for a minute or two and let me tell you a story as told by a friend.

My phone rings for about 6 times non-stop before I pick up, upset at the caller. I rolled my eyes as I saw it was one of my best-friends from Uni. I should have known, only Sade would call me like the Heavens were falling and I somehow had the superpowers to stop it.


“Babe let me call you later biko I am very busy” but she doesn’t let me finish before screaming in her high-pitched voice “checccccccccccck your WhatsApp!” and before I could respond the line had died. I rolled my eyes, it was so like Sade to expect you to drop everything and attend to her. I knew I was not going to rest if I didn’t check my WhatsApp and distractedly open the App to check the almighty message that needed my urgent attention. I froze at the words staring at me “I HEARD ROYAL’S MARRIAGE HAS CRASHED! APPARENTLY, HIS WIFE CAUGHT HIM CHEATING SEVERALLY AND HE EVEN INFECTED HER WITH AN STD!” what???!!! I exclaimed out loud before I realized. I smile assuredly at my colleagues who stared at me like I had lost my mind and dropped my phone. This is not my business I told myself. It’s been 6years and well, his gist can wait. But then I am extremely restless, I rush to the ladies, phone in hand, dialing Sade’s number. I barely locked the door before she picked. “my friend, my friend you too like gist” she laughs but I was not finding it funny. I cut her off, demanding the full details which she was privy since she was neighbors with Royal. Sade fills me in, and I am shocked to say the least. She goes on about how the situation was messy and the wife was bent on a divorce. She ends the conversation with “babe na God save you o”


I went back to work, and soon forgot about Royal and his marital woes. The remainder of the day passed uneventfully and soon it was time to go home. On my way home, I remember Sade’s call and the memories and revelations it brought with it.


I’m sure you have already put two and two together but let me tell you my story.
You see I met Royal whilst I was in school. 8 years ago, he was a master’s student, I was in 300 level. He was my dream man! What I used to call the perfect blend, you know handsome, tall, dark, goes to church, wonderful Christian, always involved in one Church activity or the other, Spirit-filled but also social. He was sweet, and oh girl I was in love. Boy did he make it easy! He pampered me, showered with love, attention and I never for once doubted that this was the ‘one’. He shared with me dreams of the future, our future, took me to meet his mother (I know, I know), cooked for me, and made me feel like I was the only woman in the world (yen yen) lol. He met my parents and all that was remaining was for me to graduate and serve, and the wedding would hold. Everyone called me “Olori Royal” and I would smile, raise my shoulders and walk taller. I was so happy and couldn’t wait to be his wife. Everyone kept telling me that he was a catch, handsome Royal, working in a multinational company, had everything a woman wanted but you know the whole time I wasn’t at ease and I kept having dreams of Royal stabbing me with a knife, but I was sure it was the devil trying to derail me! I mean I was the envy of girls on campus. I remember my prayers to God, to keep my relationship away from evil eyes, to keep us in love and make us stronger as a couple, I was already praying for our unborn children. Yes, I am extra like that.


2 years into the relationship, I was gearing up to get married as I was done with service. I was 23 and this was the age I had always wanted to get married, I was eager, I was anxious. 2 years down the line and I was still hearing occasional voices “He is not my will” but I was always quick to shut it down. I convinced myself it wasn’t God’s voice, and hadn’t he said in his word that whatever we ask for in prayer we shall receive? Well, there you have it! My world was perfect, a fairytale world filled with roses. Royal proposed to me on a trip to Greece, we had gone to celebrate our 2-year anniversary. It was magical and everything I had always imagined my proposal would be, surrounded by the people we loved. Our parents were ecstatic, and the planning commenced immediately. I wanted a Christmas wedding, and everything was moving on towards that direction.


The lingering doubt would not go no matter how hard or fervently I prayed but I was in love and I continued planning until things took a huge turn, and everything changed. I got the call that would change my life. Our mutual friend Adeline told me she thought Royal was cheating on me. I refused to believe her, but she said she had proof and I decided to at least listen to her so I could look her in the face and laugh and say you see Royal is as faithful as they come and finally kill my doubt. She asked me to go visit him at home unplanned and gave me the time when I was sure to catch them. I thought this was all planned by her to steal my joy, but I couldn’t stop myself from going. I didn’t know what I was going to see but I was not prepared what I saw. I caught my fiancé cheating with one of my supposed best friends and the funny thing, he wasn’t even remorseful! Apparently, he had been sleeping with her for the entire duration of our relationship…He said I got what I deserved by coming unannounced, that she gave him what he wanted, and I was just being a frigid virgin. I wanted the ground to open and swallow me, I could not believe my ears, I thought he wanted to wait, he did not pressure me, and I was so grateful to God for giving me a man like him. Little did I know that I meant nothing to him. Still I was willing to forgive, I had put so much into the relationship and was not willing to give up without a fight. Royal said he was still willing to marry me, but he was going to keep her on as a side chick and if I was not willing to accept that, then he was going to call off the wedding. I did not know what to do or say as we had less than 2 months to our wedding. I could not bring myself to accept the offer and I told him so and he ended our engagement.


I became a shell of myself, I was barely living. How could God do this to me? I had served him faithfully, I had done all I needed to do, and this one desire of my heart and he couldn’t grant it to me. I became bitter towards God and I felt that my Father didn’t love me enough. It took 2 years for me to finally move on and rekindle my relationship with God. I had accepted it as his will and let it go but now it finally made sense why I had those doubts, why the dreams never stopped even though I prayed. It was at this point that I truly understood what God did for me 6 years ago. That it was not that He didn’t answer my prayer, He did. But His answer was not what I wanted, it was what I needed. I now understand that nothing supersedes His will and that His will concerning my life is of good always.


This is a clear example of how God’s will turn out to be the best.


‘His will not mine’ is how we have been taught to pray, everything must be aligned to his will. His plans are always for good and to bring us to an expected end. You see He knows best and his will is supreme. You cannot question Him, only accept that this is his will.


How do you tell someone who has just a child she has longed and prayed for after 15 years of waiting, after 9 months of carrying the child and the labor pangs and 3 months down the line, the child dies of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome)? How do you explain that it is God’s will? Or how do you tell someone who has prayed for a husband and finally God sends one and just on the eve of the wedding, the husband-to-be is knocked down by a car and dies on the spot. Or a promotion at work, or a job you have prayed for and worked hard to get and just at the last stage, it slips away, or someone who loses a loved one or loses a job for no reason. The scenarios abound, so how do you explain that all of these is God’s will.


How can all these bad things happen when God says his plan are for good and not for evil and to bring us to an expected end. How do you learn to trust despite all the heartache some of these experiences bring? We say the ‘Our Father’ and it has become a routine prayer and we do not at times fully understand the meaning of the words we say; “…May your will be done…” we need to not only pray for His will to be done but also we need to pray for the ability and grace to accept this will even when it is not palatable. God’s will can be perfect or permissive. There is nothing that happens without your Father’s knowledge. He either wants this to happen or He allows/ permits it to happen, either way HE knows.


Trust is a key ingredient in our walk with God, learning to have faith in him, knowing that He sees every tear, He hears every prayer, He is aware of every sigh, He knows every of our heart desires and he knows best. He does not bring us far to leave us to our own devices. It is difficult to fully trust another, to surrender your will to that of God for faith demands that from us, at times it makes no sense to us why things are the way they are or why we do not get what we want after putting in the effort, there will be pain along the path, but you have to trust God completely, you have to believe that God knows what is best for you and is going to do his very best for you and then you have to hold onto your faith as strongly as you can.


Is this going to be easy, No! But your job is to trust God and hold on to his promises as He says in Jeremiah 29:11: “I alone know the plans I have for you, plans to bring you prosperity and not disaster, plans to bring about the future you hope for.” So, when next your will does not align with God’s will or prayers do not seem to get answered, hang in there, your father loves you and knows best. Trust him!

See you all next week as we continue this exciting journey. Stay tuned, God bless you all and do not forget that God loves you more than you can ever imagine. Also, we will be starting a new series titled: #ConversationswithGod This is us simply writing a letter to God, no flowery words, just a sincere heart talking to the father. You can send us a mail at godlywomenarising@gmail.com. This can be done anonymously or you can drop your mail. We explain more on Friday.

Please don’t forget to drop a comment and also tell a friend to tell a friend to read. Do follow us on all social media handle @Godlywomenarising

Broken??? Fix you!

Yipee it’s another #RelationshipfridaywithGWA and our inhouse relationship guru is at it again, this time with #broken-fix you. We often look towards other people for fixing, seeking validation from people, thinking if I did this or did that, may be she or he would love me more, or act differently towards me. Enough said, let’s not let the cat out of the bag, relax it’s Friday so settle in, a chilled glass of your favorite wine (non-alcoholic of course), snuggle in on the couch and now dig in

Can I get an AMEN!

“AND WE AS INDIVIDUALS SHALL LOVE OURSELVES ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT WE ARE GOOD ENOUGH JUST AS WE ARE”

It is no longer news that a lot of people (actually a lot of women) seek for validation in their relationships .

Women look up to their men to make them feel good enough, to validate them. They don’t believe that they are beautiful except they are told so by their partners. They don’t think they deserve to be celebrated except their partners celebrate them.

Dear Concerned!,
Please STOP!!
Stop waiting for validation from your partners !!!
Stop entering into that relationship hoping that your partner will complete you and make you feel whole.

Yes, I Agree that love is like a large incomplete puzzle waiting for the right person to complete it but you must also realize that a CRACKED or DAMAGED or BROKEN piece of puzzle can never add up to complete a puzzle ( did I succeed in confusing You? )


My point exactly is, “ A broken person ( I don’t mean someone who is heart broken ) has no business getting into a relationship. When a broken individual gets into a relationship they want their partners to make them feel good about themselves. They want to do things so their partners can be impressed not because they really want to do those things. When their partner has not called them beautiful then they don’t feel beautiful.
The moment that partner fails at filling this void then problems begin and this may eventually lead to depression.

When is an individual broken?

When he/she has a low self esteem
You don’t believe in yourself
You don’t ever feel deserving
You don’t appreciate yourself
You seek validation from others


It is important to have a partner that makes you feel good and beautiful and all what isn’t at all OK is not being that person for yourself.
You should be your biggest fan, celebrate your small wins and big ones too. Know that you are awesome, beautiful and perfect just the way you are. You owe yourself this much.

See you on Monday God-willing as we continue this exciting journey and our prayers is that the many lessons God has in store are learnt. Stay tuned, God bless you all and do not forget that God loves you more than you can ever imagine. Please don’t forget to drop a comment and also tell a friend to tell a friend to read. Do follow us on all social media handle @Godlywomenarising

He Loves You

Hello Lovely Family, I know we were supposed to continue with #AQueenlikenoother but circumstances beyond our control did not allow us. God-willing we should continue by next week. However we have this piece for you, it’s titled “He loves you” . Have you ever doubted his love, have you ever questioned why or told yourself that you were unworthy of this love, this is the Father’s assurance to you. It is our earnest prayers that God stirs in our hearts-yours and ours the desire to know him and serve him better. Now dig in.

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Have you felt a love as pure as the one God has for you?

Have you felt an embrace as warm as that of the Father’s?

Secure, held safe in the arms of your Lord and God.

Even when we were his enemies, held in bondage by sin, sentenced to death, hell-bound, his love never waned, stronger it burned, fiercer it was, chasing me till He claimed me as his. Oh, how I love the sound of that. I am his and He is mine. I am in awe of the fact that you love me. I am humbled by the knowledge that you would go to the ends of the earth for me.

Yes me, when I look at myself, I am amazed that it is I you love. Who am I oh Lord that you are mindful of me, who is mortal man that you should care about him. These words of the psalmist remind me of my own frailty, yet you love me just as if I were the only one.

I have done nothing to earn this love, many a time I do not deserve it, yet you never stop loving me, always a step ahead of me, drawing me closer, a sinner though I am. Yet saved by mercy, mercy inspired by love, love the kind that sends the son to die for the sinful one, I the sinful one and shown grace unmerited.

Darkness has no place in this relationship of ours for you light up every shadow. I feel your love all over me. You have given me the strength to survive everything. Your love is my shield and I am constantly amazed that you love me. How many times have I said I am amazed, that’s to describe the intensity of the love you shower me with me, never holding back, a father is who you are, drawing me close to you, holding me in the hollow of your hands.

You see my mind wonders why? Lots of questions cross through!

Why do you care? Do you know how filthy I am? Do you know all the things I have done? How do you love me when you know all the things I have done to hurt you? How do you keep loving me in my unworthiness? How big is your heart that you keep loving and loving and never get tired?

Your love sent you to the cross, your love for me was the nails that nailed you to the cross. Love answered: ‘Here I am, send me.’

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He Loves you for no reason, just because he does, isn’t that amazing

A sinner I was and yet love stood up for me and fought hard to rescue me. 1 sheep lost and still you came to find me, your steadfast love never ceases. Your love for me sets me free from the chains of sin, from the past.

Grace that is what you have given me, redemption is what you offer me, a second chance, a third chance, a fourth chance and as many chances are as possible is what you offer me; breathing new life into me, saving a wretch like me.

This is me your child with this plea,

Break down the walls I have built around my heart, melt this hard heart of mine, show me how to love you like I ought to, how to please you, I want to rest secure in the love you offer me.

You have moved heaven and earth for me, you have saved me for yourself. You have shown me what true love is.

Your gift to me— Love

My gift in return—Love

See you all next week as we continue this exciting journey and our prayers is that the many lessons God has in store are learnt. Stay tuned, God bless you all and do not forget that God loves you more than you can ever imagine. Please don’t forget to drop a comment and also tell a friend to tell a friend to read. Do follow us on all social media handle @Godlywomenarising

Image credit: Google

A Queen like no other…3

We are excited to continue #Christianfiction. We said #MondayswithGWA is here to stay. We apologize for taking so much time to finish up this post. I really loving this kick-ass, strong independent queen in the making. We hope and pray that at the end, we are all able to take the lessons to heart and improve on our lives for what is the need if it doesn’t make us better humans. Now let’s dig in.

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…He said I had proven myself as a worthy daughter of the land and he was proud of me. He commended me for my selfless service to our Kingdom as the result was glaring for all- we had recorded the highest success rate in the history of the kingdom and our children were finally going to the University…Oh I had forgotten to tell you all that we had also taken the Unified Tertiary Matriculation Examination and all our students who had written the exam had passed. This he said, translates to the development of the kingdom. I was happy beyond words, God had not failed me. He had shown up for me when everyone thought I had failed. Everyone was marveled from the naysayers to the ones who had doubted. The king immediately set up an education board in the kingdom with me, the principal and two other teachers. We were to come up with detailed plans on how to further improve and drive the kingdom’s literacy and education. The board was to present their action plan and feedback in a fortnight.

I was terrified, teaching students was something I loved and enjoyed but an education board, a presentation was different from what I was used to. I wanted to make use of the opportunity that had been given to me. I had the support of the principal and the teachers and as we researched on it, I gradually warmed up to the topic and was eagerly awaiting the visit to the palace. Okay okay let me let you in on a little secret; apart from speaking about the education and literacy program titled ‘Every Child a Leader’, I wanted to see the King. I haven’t stopped thinking about him since that day. I just wanted to talk to him and just gaze into his eyes and kiss him, he had the most kissable mouth I had ever seen.  He was so handsome and when he looked at you, he made you feel like you were the most important person in the world. I know, I have never been kissed and how many men have I seen but trust me, he exuded royalty. You need to see my face, I am blushing and going on and on like a hopeless romantic.

Oh, the days before my meeting with the king became long! It seemed the days moved slower. I could almost say it moved in the reverse direction. I was in a mess! I couldn’t concentrate on anything and found myself constantly day-dreaming about the king, what I would say if he asked me a question. Oftentimes, I would admonish myself to get myself together but would soon find myself lost in thoughts. Oh but then, I am sure the king would not feel anything for me besides regards and care as he would all those in his kingdom. I mean, I am not from a royal family; I am not even from a rich family, I am not even from an average family. We were poor. People from my side did not marry kings, no, we wait on those who did, and we did their chores and wash their laundry. There are some dreams one shouldn’t dare dream! This was one of them, yet I could not stop myself from dreaming.

I resolved not to get ahead of myself, not to overstep my boundaries either in thoughts or deeds. I put all my efforts in ensuring that the task given to us was very well done. This was a lifetime opportunity for our kingdom to develop through education. I had outdone myself on this one and I was sure it was going to be approved. I had fasted and prayed, and I was sure of God’s backing. I keep mentioning fasting and prayer right, the efficacy of these are something I have never doubted and was my own surest means of communication with God and I had learnt that no one who placed their trust in God was ever disappointed. It might not be at the time you want it or in the form you have prayed but He brings it just at the right time and in the right manner.

The day of the presentation was a day I’d never forget. I could barely sleep from the excitement so I decided to sing and pray. The moment day broke I jumped up from bed, did my chores, prepared Ete mmi’s breakfast and got ready. I spent an extra 30 minutes in the bathroom, wore my best outfit which I had recently bought for the event, combed my hair and packed it neatly and waited for the appointed time. I couldn’t eat breakfast due to the excitement, part of which you can already tell was from anticipating being in the presence of the king.

I dashed down to the palace, the meeting was brief and conclusive. The king and the council loved the plans and we were asked to start preparations immediately so that we could launch at the next Usoro Abasi festival. The King and cabinet members promised us their support and were ready to assist us in any form that we needed. The meeting was dismissed, and we were asked to go to the dining chambers though the king was in what seemed to be a brief discussion with one of the guards, so he motioned for us to go ahead. I got up slowly to allow the chiefs and school board to go out first, I was on my way out when I heard my name. I looked back to see the King in a boyish smile get up, walk towards me and take my hands. I would never forget the words he spoke next ‘’walk with me”

See you all next week and just may be we would come to the end of this exciting journey and our prayers is that the many lessons God has in store through this story are learnt. Stay tuned, God bless you all and do not forget that God loves you more than you can ever imagine. Please don’t forget to drop a comment and also tell a friend to tell a friend to read. Do follow us on all social media handle @Godlywomenarising

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P.S Any error in the use of language is ours as we tried to get to the best of our abilities the right words to use.

Happily Incompatible

Yipee, we are so excited. It is International Women’s day. It is a day set apart to celebrate all women of all color, race and ideologies. The theme is #balanceforbetter which focuses on equality, innovation and the likes. We are more than glad to be women no matter how underappreciated and unrecognized we are, it is a great honor to be a woman, a share in God’s work of creation. It is important to state that no one chooses their gender however women have been termed the fairer sex and marginalized for a long time and it’s time for us to take our position as partners in God’s world. We have different responsibilities and roles but foremost God created us equally.

In other news we have our first relationship post for the year, which would be on the Fridays when we can manage until we are able to come up with a standard schedule, we will be back on Monday God-willing to continue with #AQueenlikenoOther, I know we have delayed but you know you have enjoyed all the posts we have shared with you and we are bringing you #HappilyIncompatible from the relationship guru herself. This is a different way at looking at the differences in each of us and celebrating our uniqueness. Now dig in

Surprised ? Yes, so was I the first time I heard this phrase being used in a book . I thought about how contrasting the phrase was and wondered if truly a couple can be happy and incompatible at the same time.


Alot of people are of the school of thought that only people with like minds, similar interests and desires can have a successful relationship. But then taking a minute to reflect on this has helped to realize that although this is the norm, things can workout differently. You and your partner don’t need to love the same sport, you don’t need to love the same meals, you don’t need to enjoy the same kind of music. You don’t need to have the same character or attitude to be happy together.


The most important thing in a relationship after God is the goals that you have set. Is your goal to have kids ? Is it to be a mother ? a father? Or is it to have a happy union? These goals matter and determines the path a relationship will follow. Contrary to the opinion of many, your similarities in a relationship does not determine whether or not the relationship is happy! You might both like the same thing and still not know how to make each other happy.


Although I don’t like football but my partner does, the joy in the love that I share with him should stir in me a desire to be a part of that smile when he’s watching a match. It should make me want to sit right next to him and understand the reason for him screaming at the top of his voice.


Don’t be the individual that sits in the shadows or is missing at the front row when his partner is doing the most important performance of his/her life.
Don’t be the partner who doesn’t care to ask for updates about your partner’s project because it is not a project of interest to you.
Don’t be the partner that would wave your partner’s fear off just because you think they are anxious over a mere 3- man meeting.


We aren’t always going to be the same, not always going to agree on a lot of things, we might not even have passion for the same things.
Want to know what’s beautiful? Being able to complete the puzzle just the way you are. Being able to love your partner so much that you love what they love. Allowing them being who they are when you are together.


Tips on how to be happily incompatible:

  • Have same relationship goals – having a successful and happy union.
  • open yourselves up to your various differences.
  • Be ready to learn new things and be willing to teach your partner what you love doing
    *Communicate- this cannot be overemphasized enough.
  • Don’t try to change your partner.

A Selfless Love story—-Part 3

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The new year just started, and we could not be more grateful that we are all alive to see the new year. We have a lot going on which would include moving to our official website and restructuring the organization’ All we ask is that you remember us in your prayers, read, share, comment, subscribe and generally live your life better and for Christ. I know you cannot wait to start reading the final part and we are so sorry that it is coming this late, now dig in

Where you go, I will go and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.

These words would be the reason why Mother allowed me to go with her and they would later become my source of encouragement when I questioned my coming to Nigeria. Mom watched me fall apart many more times, she feared for my health and as she watched me she prayed asking God why this had happened to us.

I remember vividly the morning before our trip to Nigeria, I was exhausted from the packing and arrangements and Mother asked us to commit the entire journey into God’s hands and with tears in our eyes we prayed : ‘Lord be gracious to us; we long for you, be our strength every morning, our salvation in time of distress’ (Isaiah 33:2).

A year after my best-man died we were on the shores of Nigeria. It was a totally different experience than what I was used to. It took a while getting used to life in Nigeria, the people and the culture. It was a learning experience as I saw that the things I took for granted meant a lot to people. We moved into Ikoyi which I would come to find out was one of the better living areas in the country. I remember one event that makes me laugh even now, I had gone with Mama to a wedding of a ‘family relative’, you know the cousin twice removed and you needed to see the arrays of asoebi, I was looking like a fish out of water, mother had warned but I decided to go with something comfortable, what struck me was the gift sharing, almost every group of friends and families had gifts to share. Weddings were usually not the loud affair it was in Nigeria.

We learnt to accept the death as part of life experience and stood by each other because we were all we had. People laughed at my decision to stay but I always remembered the promise of my selfless love. They could not comprehend the reason behind my coming to Nigeria as they felt there was nothing for me to do here, I had no family to speak of, no child and was a foreigner. I still felt the loss and slowly we moved from crying to praying, then we sang, laughed and danced and my heart was slowly healing. I had a mother in Mama. She was a rock, held me and walked me through life’s challenges.

6 months after I moved to Nigeria, I was done with the sight-seeing and the waking up each day not knowing where my life was headed. I decided it was time to start working but I was not ready for the drudgery of the corporate world. I wanted something that would keep me on my toes, make me feel alive and put to good use my creative talents. I started researching, I wrote down every plan, idea, strategy that came to mind. I was looking at what I was good at and what would be viable, and the idea came, I loved planning events and Nigeria did not have a shortage of events. So, I started my business—EventsandMore. It was rigorous at first navigating the event management industry. I attended seminars and workshops, learnt how active participation on social media helped the business grow, got acquainted with awesome vendors and yes, I had to do a couple free jobs. Mom was so proud and supportive, she would bless me every morning that God would grant favour to the works of my hand ‘At night she would anoint my head and pray I find happiness and a man who would complete me (LOL! Like I was thinking about getting married again.)

I would return home each day and talk to Hubby about my achievements and plans (He was hard to get over, but I did not feel the breathlessness I usually felt at the beginning, I had learnt to immerse myself in happy memories). I also started a workout routine and I’d run every morning on the Lekki- Ikoyi bridge with the song ‘He still loves me’ by Beyonce on replay (hubby’s favourite). I felt his warmth like he was taking a walk just beside me (*chuckles* He was my Mr. Macho.) 

My first paid job came 2 months after I had started EventsandMore. It was my friend Cynthia who had become a close friend since my movement to Nigeria. She got married to a distant cousin just a month after my wedding and had given birth to her daughter who happened to be my god-child a year ago. She had decided to celebrate Zara’s first birthday with the cartoon theme: FROZEN. I was super excited and got the team working to ensure that everything was perfect. The D-day came, and I was everywhere ensuring things went as planned. Trust us at EventsandMore, the event was superb, and everything was top-notch from the decoration, to the photography to the catering. I was impressed if I do say so myself.

The party ended around 6:00pm and the after party for the adults began which was organized by Cynthia’s husband. We played games, talked and danced to the songs of the 90’s. It was at that party that I met Kunle. Kunle was one of Cynthia’s closest friend in Uni. He was well built, looked smart and his eyes were such that you could drown in them. He was in his late thirties and in my mind, I had concluded that a man as handsome as he was already married with maybe two kids. I know you are wondering how I was able to notice him. I have this habit of studying people and building stories around them, it was often a way to pass time.  Kunle had also been watching me as I was watching him and when (in my own opinion which I am sure if you ask Kunle he would deny) he couldn’t hold himself any longer, he walked up to me and made small talk. During our conversation, he asked what I wanted in a man (I hadn’t thought about that in so long) I smiled and said respect, love, understanding and the fear of God. Cynthia caught this moment and told mom and they became our matchmakers. They planned one visit after another, date nights, they went the whole nine yards. SMH! I learnt that Nigerian parents loved to be in the know of things and knew how to spice things up. Mom and Cynthia would update Kunle of my where-about, Mr C.E.O became my guardian angel (lol! everywhere I went). He treated me with utmost respect and gave me the space and time to heal properly. Kunle was also a good writer so I was treated to poems and love notes.

I would wake up to dreams with my best-man in them, he begged that I let his memories fade. I This was a tough one for me because in as much as I was beginning to love Kunle, I sometimes felt it was a betrayal on the memory of my late husband. Mama talked and counselled me, but I needed to understand and grasp it myself. I learnt that sometimes we don’t get what we want but God provides what we need. I wanted to focus on growing my business, but God blessed me with more, He blessed me with a man after his own heart, a man who shared my vision and would make me a princess fit for my King and God. The promises in the words of the Psalmist in Psalm 147:3 came true for me: “For he heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wound”.

Kunle proposed in a small intimate setting on one of our vacations to Seychelles. I finally had my Instagram-worthy pictures. I wanted a small wedding considering this was my second wedding, but I had to reconsider as this was Kunle’s first wedding. It was everything we wanted and more, yes, I planned the event myself so were you expecting anything less than perfection. I look back and the word that comes to mind is beautiful. We had opted to write our own vows to each other and I would share mine with you all.

Here it goes: “Kunle Onitemi, you sauntered into my life when I was not looking, you showed me that God indeed blesses us more than we can imagine. I thought I was done with that part of my life, but you showed up and I knew all hope was not lost. With you I am ever reminded of how much God loves me. You are not perfect, yet you are mine showering me with unconditional love, being my friend and confidant and making me a princess fit for my King and God. I promise here before these witnesses to love, hold and cherish you, to be the best wife and help-mate for you till death do us part.” There was not a dry eye when we were done.

Kunle and I are with a son and a daughter, the two most precious gifts God could have given us. Kunle allowed for Mom to live with us, the kids and Kunle love her so much. He says Mama gifted him his most precious gift. We are not without challenges and each day is a learning experience, but we are blessed to have God as our head as we grow every day.

Thanks for listening to my story and just in case you have been wondering who this is my name is Ruth Coker, a woman loved by God, Kunle’s life partner, mother to Oluwanifemi and Oluwadarasimi Coker, daughter to Mama and an event planner extraordinaire.

We have picked valuable lessons to learn from the story of Ruth to share with you all.

  1. Loss and change is hard and more common than we know and dealing with grief can make us feel lost
  2. It is important to keep our promises and commitments
  3. Get to work, because something bad has happened is no reason to stop working.
  4. Have honourable intentions towards all.
  5. Make a move, don’t stay at a place and expect things to change.
  6. Having a noble character is key.
  7. Our decisions matter and never underestimate the power of your decisions, commitment, humility and integrity.
  8. We are all equal and important to God despite our race, gender or status.
  9. God uses little things to accomplish great plans.
  10.  Don’t let the past hold you back.

See you all next week as we officially start the year and thanks for sticking with us. Stay tuned, God bless you all and do not forget that God loves you more than you can ever imagine. Do follow us on all social media handle @Godlywomenarising

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A Selfless Love story—Part 1

Hello tribe.  Thank you for the opportunity to tell my story. I have been looking forward to this!  #MondayswithGWA is here to stay. Now dig in:

I hope you enjoy reading as much as I’ll enjoy telling it. I hope you can pick a thing or two and share how it relates to you.

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I am your average American girl, a stable home, beautiful looks, brains and guts. I had life easy, some will say too easy. I had access to things that I now realize I took for granted. In short,I had a good life (I still do). My whole life was lived according to a plan I had mapped out and even written down in my journal. From the schools I attended to people I could call friends, to where I interned, to the company I now work for and courses I took. I had a deliberate road map of how my life was going to turn out. I had even penned down the age I would get married, the kind of man he would be, his social status; when I would give birth and even how many children I would have…  but you know what they say…” the best things happen in-between your plans” (something like that)in between all my numerous plans I met the best man in the world! 

We met in college, at a time when I wasn’t thinking of dating. Yes, it was not in my well laid out plans, so I played hard to get for a long while before I finally gave in because what an African man wants, he gets. That’s what he said, quite cheeky of him. Lol (yes, my best man hails from the rich soil of Nigeria). His family had relocated to America when he was sixteen because his father had gotten a job here and wanted a “better life” for his family. Dating my best-man as I called him was the best experience as at that time. Though we rarely saw each other as about a year into our relationship he joined the army, it was a whole new experience being with someone who made me his priority. Our relationship was filled with constant love; pampering; growth. The relationship changed me in so many ways. I became a whole new being. I grew in strength, my spiritual life became much better, I could no longer be limited, and I learnt to forgive,not to hold grudges. He was my prayer partner and I learnt to love God more deeply and walk in his path.

His family was more than welcoming. Though he had lost his father a few years before we met, his mother and brother were warm! His mother treated me like the daughter she never had, and I was overwhelmed with love. I often wished his mother was my mother. My mother loved me, she loves me, but I have never felt that complete undemanding, unconditional love like I felt when I was around his mum. I felt totally at ease and comfortable around them and often had to be reminded to go home. (Yes, you can laugh because I am laughing at myself retelling this story).

Exactly 2 years, 4 months and 12 days into our relationship he proposed! He had come home in between stations, looking all dapper in his uniform, one knee down, a flower and a ring and the best question I ever heard.It was not exactly as I envisioned it, I wanted something romantic: a trip to the Bahamas or Paris, lights, candles, family and friends and the big question. Something Instagram-worthy. I could imagine the hashtag #MeettheWilliams. Awww, love is so sweet, true love that is. However, I could not have been more excited to say yes as I had no iota of doubt that this was who I wanted to spend the rest of my life, this was my Prince, the one God had prepared for me, the one who would lead me closer to God and make me a princess fit for my King and Lord. We were wed 2 weeks later much to his mother’s horror as she wanted a big wedding, but he was going to begone for a long time and we wanted to be wed! We had probably the shortest honeymoon ever as two days after our wedding I bid my husband farewell as he went off to his new assignment. With teary eyes I joined my new mother in the car and drove to her house which was now mine. My husband wanted me to move in with his mom as he didn’t have a house of his own due to the nature of his job and didn’t want me all by myself, so I moved!

The first 6 months of married life was overwhelming. I struggled with being newly wedded to being a young wife to a man fighting a war I didn’t understand but he was determined to serve his country and living with my mother in-law made it a thousand times more bearable. We would pray together, talk about my husband’s growing up and life together, read his letters together(well some of them as some of them were for my eyes only. Yes, my best man was a poet). She taught me so many Nigerian recipes, so I could wow my husband when he returned as she kept telling me how the way to a man’s heart is through his belly. She told me so much about home that I fell in love with the place. We would always joke about how she wanted to be buried in her homeland when she passes on…beneath the jokes I could tell how much she missed home.

Then it happened.

We had gotten a letter that my best man was coming home,this time for good. Every day was steeped in anticipation …looking out the window several times of the day once we sensed or felt movement. I could not wait for him to be back, so I could sleep at night without wondering if the war was going to take him captive, nights spent sleeping in his shirt and entreating God for mercy on him so that he could come home where he belonged. This day was no exception, we had looked out several times..it was a job! I heard a car outside our home and looked out then screamed, danced and raced downstairs all at the same time! “He’s back! He’s back!!” I rush out gasping for breath then paused…something was not right. Why were there two men in uniform and not one? Wait…my husband isn’t even here. “Oh God” I heard their voice just as mama made it to my side “are you Mrs Ade-williams” I nod in fear as my worst fears were confirmed. All I heard was ” I am sorry..­died in battle…hero” before the darkness enveloped me and I slumped.

 See you all next week as we continue this exciting journey. Stay tuned, God bless you all and do not forget that God loves you more than you can ever imagine. Do follow us on all social media handle @Godlywomenarising

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