Dear Papa

Who missed us? Awwww we missed ourselves. We have been busy but trust that not for once have we forgotten you all and the importance of the blog. But we are back and better, yipee

Today’s post is titled: ‘Dear Papa’ and it’s one that resonates deeply with us because it’s the heart of a child laid bare to the father. We don’t know who exactly these words are written for but our earnest hope and prayer today is that you accept the Father’s love which he freely bestows on you.

Dear Papa,

I am amazed that you love me, I am humbled that you care about me. I who am the least deserving of your love, I who has done nothing to earn this love; this child of yours who has wounded your heart numerous times by her actions, yet you love her. I am still the apple of your eyes, you still call me yours, you call me the beloved of the Father’s. You love me just as if I were the only one in the world, you sent your son to pay the eternal price for my sins.


I ask myself what I have done to be this loved by you Papa and as always, the answer is nothing. All that you have asked of me in return is that I love you as you have loved and continue to love me.

Yet, my life is a mess, my soul is riddled with guilt and the stain of sin, this robe you have placed on me has become dirtied by the lust of the world, they have swayed me and I have fallen prey to them, this fast-beating drum they have beaten for me and I have willingly danced to their tunes, thinking that time waits for me, hoping that time and again you would rescue me, telling myself that it is just one small mistake and getting lost in the throes of ephemeral happiness, this transient bliss that fades away like morning dew.

You have called me home countless times saying: “Child come home, are you not weary of the world?”, like the lost sheep you have left the 99 searching for me and pleading that I return back to you. Though the stains that my sins cause be as scarlet you promise that they would be whiter than snow. You offer me forgiveness, love, acceptance, hope, redemption and peace on a platter of gold and all I need do is receive it.

Papa, I am scared that may be one day it would be too late, that I would have run so far that I wouldn’t be found, that I would have wandered away with no hope but these words from Psalms 139 reminds me that there is no where I would go that your hands wouldn’t reach me.

Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, ‘Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,’ even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.”

Death scares me father and a lot of people have died lately and all I can think about is that it could have been me and where would yonder future find me. What would become of me when one day I close my eyes never to open them again. Would it be heaven with you rejoicing with the angels or would I regret that I had not made use of the opportunities you have given me.

Hold me close Papa, let me feel loved and cherished by you, open my eyes to see the futility of my ways and the frailty of my life, teach me to number my days that I may given wisdom of heart, don’t let me be deceived by the world and its trappings, show me the path to follow and hold me lest I fall and when I fall pick me up, dust me clean and give me the grace to trudge on. The road would not be easy, but I can trust that with you everything will be fine.

Dear Papa, I know that I do not love you as I ought to but thanks for loving me. This child of yours is truly grateful and promises to do better.

Your Child.

Image credit: Google

Until next time, don’t forget that God loves you much more than you can ever imagine.

Conversations with God…Dharmie

We are gradually coming to the end of this series titled: #ConversationswithGod. It has been for us a chance to have a sincere heartfelt conversation with our Father who is both loving and merciful. All we want is sincerity in the hope that someone who reads this is inspired to change, to live right. Our prayer is that we come to an enlightenment of all that our Father has in store for us. This letter is from Dharmie and it resonates deeply as the words and questions are an echo of the ones that go through my mind. We know the Lord sees and we pray that help is close. Now dig in

Lord I need you to speak! Breathe! Whisper! Move! Just do anything.
Anything at all! Please Lord.
I’m dead serious now, I am fast losing it.
Lord I am fast losing it and I can’t help it anymore.
Everyone except you and I thinks that I am fine.
You know I’m not , right?
I don’t think it’s depression, this isn’t how they described it.
Everyone I have tried to talk to thinks I am just being emotional.
They think I am the reason for my problems.
How do I explain it?
How do I explain how overwhelming life is for me.
How do I explain the many things that runs through my mind every second.
How do I explain that’s its a solution I need to someone who doesn’t even understand that i have a problem.
I have to be saviour to all but myself.
I am fast drowning and no one is seeing me struggle to stay afloat.
I can’t fail my loved ones but I am failing myself every minute that passes by.
I am not what I thought I would be at this time.
I cannot even say if I am on the path God wants me to be.
The more I try, the deeper I sink.
Lord my anchor!!!!
No one else can understand me right now.
If you can hear me, I need help fast.
I have been doing a lot of hanging in there these days.
Send help dear Father.

See you all next week as we continue this exciting journey. Stay tuned, God bless you all and do not forget that God loves you more than you can ever imagine. Also, we will continue our new series titled: #ConversationswithGod This is us simply writing a letter to God, no flowery words, just a sincere heart talking to the father. You can send us a mail at godlywomenarising@gmail.com. This can be done anonymously or you can drop your name. We hope to hear from you.

Please don’t forget to drop a comment and also tell a friend to tell a friend to read. Do follow us on all social media handle @Godlywomenarising

Conversations with God—Femi

We are excited to continue this series titled: #ConversationswithGod. It’s for us a chance to have a sincere heartfelt conversation with our Father who is both loving and merciful. For everyone who has asked us what they should write about, we have had one question for them: If you could see God this minute face to face sitting beside you what would you tell him, are there questions you would ask Him or it would just be thanking him for everything. We are not looking for flowery words or an English Thesis. All we want is sincerity in the hope that someone who reads this is inspired to change, to live right. Our prayer is that we come to an enlightenment of all that our Father has in store for us. This letter is from Femi and it asks those hard questions that are often on our mind. I felt the words in my soul. Now dig in

God,

Are you there? I have stayed away for too long I am in doubt of how to find you. The numerous times I have failed you, its been you chasing after me with love. This sudden silence makes it feel like for once you have left me to be on my own. I doubt that is the case but if it is, I just want you to know I am tired. Exhausted from trying to pull me forward. These days I find myself dragging without moving. Can you hear me? I don’t even remember what it means to pray anymore. So I figured, since you see and know all, it is safer to connect to you via this platform.

Dear Lord, my heart is frail and my spirit is broken, I need you to breathe life into me again. I desire a rebirth, another redemption from the curses of the law. I have battled with self-doubt for so long that I am no longer in tune with your purpose for me. It has become tough to love myself, hence the belief others had for me faded into reality, roared at by fear of inadequacy. I have continuously sought the validation of others and left a trail of anxiety in my wake. I have subtly traded courage for cowardice just because it isn’t working. Slowly, I have drifted away from an expression of competence in the things I had passion about. Forgive me Lord, but I have to ask, is this really your plan for me? The tunnel has become longer, the only light that shines is a reflection from behind, is this the path you want me to follow?

I am finding it tough to keep faith in myself but I am trusting you this last time to push me forward. At least, shine your light in the direction you want me to follow. The ways of the present world are lined with evil, corruption, and rampant these days, suicide. These options aren’t how I desire to live or leave. A lot of others have chosen those paths, can we judge what informed their choices? Didn’t they pray to you? I have grown to learn that you do not punish, perhaps struggling is the minimum wage for our sins here on earth. Are our sins to big to be forgiven? Where exactly did we go wrong? Suddenly, almost everyone is troubled in their mind. Why are you quiet, Lord?

The world is in chaos. In the absence of pressure comes oppression, an escape from both could easily give one depression, hence seeking ways of suppressing it. Suddenly, there are more friendly enemies than true friends. More condemning tongues disguising as critics. More churchgoers than Christians, more church growers than men of God. I feel alone. I need you now than ever. I am willing to try again, riding on your strength only. I want to shut out the world and focus on you. I am prepared to trade my burden for your will. Can you hear me, Lord? This time, wherever you lead, I will follow. God, I am quiet now, speak through the silence.

Your son.

See you all next week as we continue this exciting journey. Stay tuned, God bless you all and do not forget that God loves you more than you can ever imagine. Also, we will continue our new series titled: #ConversationswithGod This is us simply writing a letter to God, no flowery words, just a sincere heart talking to the father. You can send us a mail at godlywomenarising@gmail.com. This can be done anonymously or you can drop your name. We hope to hear from you.

Please don’t forget to drop a comment and also tell a friend to tell a friend to read. Do follow us on all social media handle @Godlywomenarising

Conversations with God—Tee

We are excited to continue this series titled: #ConversationswithGod. It’s for us a chance to have a sincere heartfelt conversation with our Father who is both loving and merciful. For everyone who has asked us what they should write about, we have had one question for them: If you could see God this minute face to face sitting beside you what would you tell him, are there questions you would ask Him or it would just be thanking him for everything. We are not looking for flowery words or an English Thesis. All we want is sincerity in the hope that someone who reads this is inspired to change, to live right. Our prayer is that we come to an enlightenment of all that our Father has in store for us. This letter is from Tee. The style is unusual, however there are lessons to be learnt. Now dig in.

Dear God! You scared me!

Oh I just realized how that sounds… calling on you cause you startled me

I wasn’t just expecting you.

I know we talk from time to time… I just never thought I’d see you till I die

Wait, am not dead. Am i?

Oh how excited I am to see you!

I’m currently on my period so I’m kinda cranky… I have a few messages for Eve but let me pend that for our next discussion

I’d like to make the best use of this opportunity.

I’m sorry I haven’t been in church for a while… you know this job has taken my weekends

I can’t say I am happy at the job, but I am grateful

I remember the years I stayed at home: depressed and sorrowful,

I prayed for this job, any job. Just to leave home and come back

Now I have one, a good one. Thank you

You know we talked about using this job to feed my dreams right

I have been putting efforts lately, you see them?

I am sometimes discouraged about the results

Sometimes I want to quit

After all, I have a job

Dreams can wait….or die

But no! I cant

Not after all I have put in,

Not after the future you showed me

I must keep pushing mustn’t i?

I do hope I’m making you proud…though I wish you can speed up the process

Speaking of speed.. I wouldn’t mind… I mean I would love if you can tell me when I’ll be getting married

Cause it doesn’t seem like we’re on the same page of the calendar

I know I said I wanted to stand on my feet before marriage

But I feel like my legs are aching from standing for long without support

Lol

I know, I know you know best

But It wouldn’t hurt for you to let me in on some of these plans

Yes?

Okay, I will keep waiting and trusting

Now that you’re here God I’ll like to ask a couple of things

Oh wait! I have gotten ahead of myself again

If you came down, there must be a reason you wanted to see me

But I have again made it all about me

sigh I am sorry

Dear Father, what brought you here

See you all next week as we continue this exciting journey. Stay tuned, God bless you all and do not forget that God loves you more than you can ever imagine. Also, we will continue our new series titled: #ConversationswithGod This is us simply writing a letter to God, no flowery words, just a sincere heart talking to the father. You can send us a mail at godlywomenarising@gmail.com. This can be done anonymously or you can drop your name. We hope to hear from you.

Please don’t forget to drop a comment and also tell a friend to tell a friend to read. Do follow us on all social media handle @Godlywomenarising

God’s Will

Hello Lovely family, hope you have missed us as much as we have missed you. It’s with great joy in our hearts that we present #Godswill. What happens when this will does not align to ours. It’s a long read spiced with a story, settle in and read and we pray that the lessons to be learnt in this are learnt. Now dig in:

I don’t want this one God, that is what I want.
I don’t want to be here just take me there.
God give me this job, I am sure it will suit me better?
No way!
This can’t be happening like this,
This wasn’t how I planned it.
No this isn’t who I want to be married to.
Why am I not married yet?
God say something!
Can you hear me?
Or are you mad at me?
Should I present my desires on my knees?
Is that what you want?
God! Answer me!
I’m getting impatient waiting for the things I want.
I want them and that is all that matters!
Why do I struggle to get almost everything I desire?
Are they not pleasant and good?
Are those not the promises you made to me?
LORD!!!
Why then do I have to struggle this much Lord?
Is my will not yours?

On and on we go, not a breath lost. How can His will not be the same as mine? Are they not in line with his promises. Am I not praying as I ought to?

Stop for a minute or two and let me tell you a story as told by a friend.

My phone rings for about 6 times non-stop before I pick up, upset at the caller. I rolled my eyes as I saw it was one of my best-friends from Uni. I should have known, only Sade would call me like the Heavens were falling and I somehow had the superpowers to stop it.


“Babe let me call you later biko I am very busy” but she doesn’t let me finish before screaming in her high-pitched voice “checccccccccccck your WhatsApp!” and before I could respond the line had died. I rolled my eyes, it was so like Sade to expect you to drop everything and attend to her. I knew I was not going to rest if I didn’t check my WhatsApp and distractedly open the App to check the almighty message that needed my urgent attention. I froze at the words staring at me “I HEARD ROYAL’S MARRIAGE HAS CRASHED! APPARENTLY, HIS WIFE CAUGHT HIM CHEATING SEVERALLY AND HE EVEN INFECTED HER WITH AN STD!” what???!!! I exclaimed out loud before I realized. I smile assuredly at my colleagues who stared at me like I had lost my mind and dropped my phone. This is not my business I told myself. It’s been 6years and well, his gist can wait. But then I am extremely restless, I rush to the ladies, phone in hand, dialing Sade’s number. I barely locked the door before she picked. “my friend, my friend you too like gist” she laughs but I was not finding it funny. I cut her off, demanding the full details which she was privy since she was neighbors with Royal. Sade fills me in, and I am shocked to say the least. She goes on about how the situation was messy and the wife was bent on a divorce. She ends the conversation with “babe na God save you o”


I went back to work, and soon forgot about Royal and his marital woes. The remainder of the day passed uneventfully and soon it was time to go home. On my way home, I remember Sade’s call and the memories and revelations it brought with it.


I’m sure you have already put two and two together but let me tell you my story.
You see I met Royal whilst I was in school. 8 years ago, he was a master’s student, I was in 300 level. He was my dream man! What I used to call the perfect blend, you know handsome, tall, dark, goes to church, wonderful Christian, always involved in one Church activity or the other, Spirit-filled but also social. He was sweet, and oh girl I was in love. Boy did he make it easy! He pampered me, showered with love, attention and I never for once doubted that this was the ‘one’. He shared with me dreams of the future, our future, took me to meet his mother (I know, I know), cooked for me, and made me feel like I was the only woman in the world (yen yen) lol. He met my parents and all that was remaining was for me to graduate and serve, and the wedding would hold. Everyone called me “Olori Royal” and I would smile, raise my shoulders and walk taller. I was so happy and couldn’t wait to be his wife. Everyone kept telling me that he was a catch, handsome Royal, working in a multinational company, had everything a woman wanted but you know the whole time I wasn’t at ease and I kept having dreams of Royal stabbing me with a knife, but I was sure it was the devil trying to derail me! I mean I was the envy of girls on campus. I remember my prayers to God, to keep my relationship away from evil eyes, to keep us in love and make us stronger as a couple, I was already praying for our unborn children. Yes, I am extra like that.


2 years into the relationship, I was gearing up to get married as I was done with service. I was 23 and this was the age I had always wanted to get married, I was eager, I was anxious. 2 years down the line and I was still hearing occasional voices “He is not my will” but I was always quick to shut it down. I convinced myself it wasn’t God’s voice, and hadn’t he said in his word that whatever we ask for in prayer we shall receive? Well, there you have it! My world was perfect, a fairytale world filled with roses. Royal proposed to me on a trip to Greece, we had gone to celebrate our 2-year anniversary. It was magical and everything I had always imagined my proposal would be, surrounded by the people we loved. Our parents were ecstatic, and the planning commenced immediately. I wanted a Christmas wedding, and everything was moving on towards that direction.


The lingering doubt would not go no matter how hard or fervently I prayed but I was in love and I continued planning until things took a huge turn, and everything changed. I got the call that would change my life. Our mutual friend Adeline told me she thought Royal was cheating on me. I refused to believe her, but she said she had proof and I decided to at least listen to her so I could look her in the face and laugh and say you see Royal is as faithful as they come and finally kill my doubt. She asked me to go visit him at home unplanned and gave me the time when I was sure to catch them. I thought this was all planned by her to steal my joy, but I couldn’t stop myself from going. I didn’t know what I was going to see but I was not prepared what I saw. I caught my fiancé cheating with one of my supposed best friends and the funny thing, he wasn’t even remorseful! Apparently, he had been sleeping with her for the entire duration of our relationship…He said I got what I deserved by coming unannounced, that she gave him what he wanted, and I was just being a frigid virgin. I wanted the ground to open and swallow me, I could not believe my ears, I thought he wanted to wait, he did not pressure me, and I was so grateful to God for giving me a man like him. Little did I know that I meant nothing to him. Still I was willing to forgive, I had put so much into the relationship and was not willing to give up without a fight. Royal said he was still willing to marry me, but he was going to keep her on as a side chick and if I was not willing to accept that, then he was going to call off the wedding. I did not know what to do or say as we had less than 2 months to our wedding. I could not bring myself to accept the offer and I told him so and he ended our engagement.


I became a shell of myself, I was barely living. How could God do this to me? I had served him faithfully, I had done all I needed to do, and this one desire of my heart and he couldn’t grant it to me. I became bitter towards God and I felt that my Father didn’t love me enough. It took 2 years for me to finally move on and rekindle my relationship with God. I had accepted it as his will and let it go but now it finally made sense why I had those doubts, why the dreams never stopped even though I prayed. It was at this point that I truly understood what God did for me 6 years ago. That it was not that He didn’t answer my prayer, He did. But His answer was not what I wanted, it was what I needed. I now understand that nothing supersedes His will and that His will concerning my life is of good always.


This is a clear example of how God’s will turn out to be the best.


‘His will not mine’ is how we have been taught to pray, everything must be aligned to his will. His plans are always for good and to bring us to an expected end. You see He knows best and his will is supreme. You cannot question Him, only accept that this is his will.


How do you tell someone who has just a child she has longed and prayed for after 15 years of waiting, after 9 months of carrying the child and the labor pangs and 3 months down the line, the child dies of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome)? How do you explain that it is God’s will? Or how do you tell someone who has prayed for a husband and finally God sends one and just on the eve of the wedding, the husband-to-be is knocked down by a car and dies on the spot. Or a promotion at work, or a job you have prayed for and worked hard to get and just at the last stage, it slips away, or someone who loses a loved one or loses a job for no reason. The scenarios abound, so how do you explain that all of these is God’s will.


How can all these bad things happen when God says his plan are for good and not for evil and to bring us to an expected end. How do you learn to trust despite all the heartache some of these experiences bring? We say the ‘Our Father’ and it has become a routine prayer and we do not at times fully understand the meaning of the words we say; “…May your will be done…” we need to not only pray for His will to be done but also we need to pray for the ability and grace to accept this will even when it is not palatable. God’s will can be perfect or permissive. There is nothing that happens without your Father’s knowledge. He either wants this to happen or He allows/ permits it to happen, either way HE knows.


Trust is a key ingredient in our walk with God, learning to have faith in him, knowing that He sees every tear, He hears every prayer, He is aware of every sigh, He knows every of our heart desires and he knows best. He does not bring us far to leave us to our own devices. It is difficult to fully trust another, to surrender your will to that of God for faith demands that from us, at times it makes no sense to us why things are the way they are or why we do not get what we want after putting in the effort, there will be pain along the path, but you have to trust God completely, you have to believe that God knows what is best for you and is going to do his very best for you and then you have to hold onto your faith as strongly as you can.


Is this going to be easy, No! But your job is to trust God and hold on to his promises as He says in Jeremiah 29:11: “I alone know the plans I have for you, plans to bring you prosperity and not disaster, plans to bring about the future you hope for.” So, when next your will does not align with God’s will or prayers do not seem to get answered, hang in there, your father loves you and knows best. Trust him!

See you all next week as we continue this exciting journey. Stay tuned, God bless you all and do not forget that God loves you more than you can ever imagine. Also, we will be starting a new series titled: #ConversationswithGod This is us simply writing a letter to God, no flowery words, just a sincere heart talking to the father. You can send us a mail at godlywomenarising@gmail.com. This can be done anonymously or you can drop your mail. We explain more on Friday.

Please don’t forget to drop a comment and also tell a friend to tell a friend to read. Do follow us on all social media handle @Godlywomenarising

WHY MARRY

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Joined together as one

Valentine has come and gone and yes, we know we are late to the party but better late than never. This post has been in the oven since last year and what better time than to share this with all of you than at a time when we are celebrating Love. We have a King and Lord who is the epitome of love, who has paid the eternal sacrifice for us. We are joined to him in an everlasting covenant which is what marriage, a covenant that bonds us together which is why Christ calls us his bride and him the bridegroom. Now we are going to be talking about #WhyMarry and we do not want spoilers so as usually dig in. However it is to be noted that this is a long post as such we crave your indulgence, settle in, get a glass of chilled wine and learn the lessons that are within.

A friend called me and said she wanted me to be a guest writer on her website, I was thrilled. Yea, the ability to reach a wider audience, who turns down such an offer? The next question was what do I write about? First concern: we strictly write on the Christian faith, our journey, the struggles and issues surrounding it and other life issues because that is the route we have decided to channel our gifts and that is the purpose GWA is heading towards. Do I go all religious?  Tone it down a bit? This is almost impossible… how do you tone down purpose! My second concern came after I had gone through the site.  It had a whole lot of varied content though Eva had given me free rein, so I could choose what I wanted to write on.

Fast-forward to a discussion with Zed on a shared interest in BOM (Break or Make up on Instagram) the issue of marriage came up and on and on we discussed, and Zed asked me the question that prompted this post: “Why do you want to get married?”

I went blank, totally speechless. Before now it had never occurred to me that there had to be a reason to get married apart from the obvious ‘we are in love with each other, it is the right thing to do, I am getting older, I am ripe for marriage” (this one makes me laugh) reasons for marriage that we often give. I could have answered any or all the above, but somehow for me the question or answer went beyond the obvious, it called for an inward look as to why I or you or anyone else should consider getting married. This here is an attempt to answer that question.

So, take one minute (or two if you need more) and ask yourself these questions

If you are married:

  • Why did you get married?
  • Why that person? Why not another person?

If you are single:

  • Why do you want to get married?
  • Why this person? Why not the other person asking you to marry him or her?

What answers did you come up with if you are truthful to yourself?

So, we asked some people the same questions on why they want to get married and for the singles these are the commonest reasons:

  • Companionship
  • Raising a family
  • To reduce or erase loneliness
  • Love
  • Increases responsibility

For the married ones, we ask why they were married, and the answers were the same as above with additional insight as to the reasons they knew this was the ’one

  • Sense of belonging
  • Sense of rightness
  • Peace in their heart
  • Someone who understood them, complemented them and brought out the best in them.

And finally, we asked someone who was engaged and about to get married and this was her response: “Well for me, getting married has never been a part of the plan because before now, I never saw the need to but it got to a point in my life when I met someone who loves me more than I love myself, who complements me in all ramifications, someone who sees me way better than I see myself. What I call my flaws are or appear to be strengths to him. With him I soar higher, achieve greater things and find peace. This was tested by ‘time and prayers.’ Then I knew I was ready and would be getting married to him.”

Love, Love and Love seems to be the driving force in a lot of relationships, the one cord that holds the whole, so let’s talk a little bit about love.

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This is what love is!

1st Corinthians 13:4-8 is the perfect base on which to hinge love. Let’s do a simple exercise. First start with yourself, I was reading a tweet yesterday and it said: ‘you keep praying for the right partner, are you a right partner yourself.’ It got me thinking, we, I inclusive keep praying about the right partner but am I the right person, what steps am I taking to make me the right person, are there areas of improvements and am I working on them. Okay back to our exercise; 1st Corinthians 13 talks about the attributes of love, so replace love with your name. So, it should go like this: ‘Helen is patient, Helen is kind…’ so are the qualities present in you, are there attributes you need to imbibe that are currently lacking, you need to be the best person for that best person you are waiting for. Now let’s move to the other person, replace their names with love and ask yourself does he or she possess the attributes of love, since I don’t have a significant other, I would use a unisex name: ‘Tolu is not proud, Tolu is not rude…’

I know, I know Humans are flawed, we are all imperfect but don’t forget that we are all constantly striving towards perfection. You hear them say that Love is not enough, that you need friendship, trust, respect etc. But then what is love? If you love someone shouldn’t you trust them, shouldn’t you respect them, shouldn’t they be your friend, shouldn’t you want the best for them. God loves us and has given us the perfect example of what love should be, He has given us himself and sent his son to die for us.

I love this passage of the Bible 1st John 4:18: “There is no fear in love; perfect love drives out all fear. So then, love has not been made perfect in anyone who is afraid, because fear has to do with punishment.” Most times our service to God is one borne out of a fear, not ‘the fear of the Lord’ but a fear of punishment, fear of ending up in hell, we do not love God because we ought to but because we think if we don’t then there is something He would do to us. I often ask God this: ‘Do not let the fear of hell or punishment cause me to love you, stir up in me a desire to love you with all my heart.”

Now that we are on the issue of fear and love, let’s talk to our friends who are in a relationship?

Yes, I know we have put in a lot of exercises, so it doesn’t become boring.

Now ask yourself a couple of questions?

  • Does the relationship leave you constantly afraid?
  • Are you always wondering what next would happen?
  • Are you never sure of where you stand?
  • Are there niggling doubts as to the rightness of your decisions?

Do you know that there is something wrong but live for the Instagram-worthy moments, the admiration of others, the likes and the loves and the comments, the oohs, awwws and the aahs? These moments seem to in our minds make up for the other not-so-good moments, the sometimes-physical abuse, the psychological both emotional, verbal and mental abuse. We pretend that it is a one-off never-to-be-repeated occurrence while we fearfully wait for the other shoe to be dropped. We lose ourselves and our self-esteem in the process, become less of a person because we want so desperately to be married, because time is moving at break-neck speed and we would rather endure a sham called love rather than leave.

The loved-up moments are so sweet and romantic that they leave you breathless, he steals your breath away you say, she will change you console yourself, I will pray, he or she will change for me. My love and constant devotion will make them change, on and on you deceive yourself, you are plagued with doubts. You make yourself a fixer of character, Mr/Miss fixer of human defect is it until your life is stolen that you would make that decision.

Why are you getting married?

Stop, ask yourself why?

  • Because he/she completes you
  • Because he/she gives you joy/happiness
  • Because he/she is your better half, that part that makes the whole come together.
  • To fill a void in your life.

The truth is your happiness does not depend on man, true happiness can only from a life dependent on God, only God can fill the void in your life and make you totally complete. You need to be enough for yourself, it is difficult especially when the pressure gets much, it is easy to just settle because time is passing, and you would rather be married than single.

Social media, music, movies and books seem to help sell the ideal of a love that is unattainable, and we often want to mirror that, and this often leaves us disillusioned when what we see doesn’t match what we get. Only God who is love is the foundation upon which love should be built. Only in him do we find happiness and fulfilment, only in God does everything make sense. You can take him away from your relationship or marriage and expect everything to be fine.

Have we left with you with more questions than answers?

I know, I started this as a means of me answering the question Why do I want to get married. However, it has shown the reasons that should not be the basis for your decision. Marriage is a vocation, one that should not be taken lightly. The wedding day with all the lights and colours is just one day, the marriage is for life. So, your reason for getting married should be clear cut. They say marriage is not in heaven, yet life on earth should prepare you for that. That said any marriage not leading you to heaven should not be something you be headed into. There might not be a loud voice saying to you: “My child stay clear” but there will be signs, that lack of peace that this is the right thing to do.

It is important to state that because you have been in a relationship for so long is still not enough reason to be married if you are not sure that this is the right thing to do. My answers are a mix of everything, the pressure is real, like there are days when I have to literally shut my eyes and ears not to be in that head-space, I want a family, I want love too, I want the companionship, you know that feeling that this person gets you for real, because this is my answer to God’s call on my vocation and because I believe that this is the person helping me in the process of becoming a princess fit for my King and God.  So am I there yet, I am that Miss right, no I am still a work in progress, I still have doubts, I still have fears, there are still questions in my head who would love or want me, would I get married, are my desires valid, are my standards high, am I not getting older and maybe I should lower my standards and the quick stab of envy when someone I know is getting married.

I have learnt so far that when you trust God all things work out in the end, that though the process be long and arduous, his plans as He says are for good and not for evil, to bring me to an expected end so while I am waiting, I am going to enjoy my singlehood, work on myself and be a princess fit for my King and God.

Now it is your turn to answer, WHY DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED?

See you all next week as we continue with #Aqueenlikenoother and our prayers is that the many lessons God has in store are learnt. Stay tuned, God bless you all and do not forget that God loves you more than you can ever imagine. Please don’t forget to drop a comment and also tell a friend to tell a friend to read, share and subscribe. Do follow us on all social media handle @Godlywomenarising

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A Queen like no other…2

I am excited,we are excited to continue #Christianfiction. We said #MondayswithGWA is here to stay. We apologize for not being around last week. I really loving this kick-ass, strong independent queen. We hope and pray that at the end, we are all able to take the lessons to heart and improve on our lives for what is the need if it doesn’t make us better humans. Now let’s dig in.

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I had just completed my compulsory 1-year National Youth Service Corps program when everything changed!

It was during the Usoro Abasi festival, people had come from all over the country to celebrate.  It was a time for all those who were living in the city to return to their roots. We even had foreigners trooping in to be part of the most famous Usoro Abasi festival. That year’s own was bigger than ever, our state was beautifully adorned, everywhere was cleaner than usual, some were fortunate to lease out their homes for some income as the hotels in the city could not contain everyone who came, yes, the crowd was mammoth. Though my uncle and I didn’t partake in the festival because of our beliefs it brought a dash of fresh air. It was interesting to see all these people troop in to the state to witness the festival.

The Usoro Abasi festival is a religious purification ritual and symbolic reenactment of the mysteries of the king yam which is accompanied by thanksgiving offerings performed by the Chief Priest of the town. It was usually held to celebrate the harvest of yam before the new yam could be eaten. It was always a colorful event with masquerades who were said to be ancestral spirit and came to bless the land at this time. It was also a time for purification of the land. It used to amaze me that even Christians partook in this festival and did not see anything wrong in it.

The festival lasted for a month with various activities and smaller festivals like the Ekpo festival and the Usoro Ita festival. At the end of this one-month event everyone dispersed back to their different destinations, but something had happened during this and would bring a change in the palace. At that time all we heard were the rumors surrounding the occurrence but the one thing we knew for sure is that the king and the queen were about to be divorced, and that the queen had left the town immediately after the celebrations! There were speculations, it was a topic for discussion at every gathering. Everyone wondered why the queen left and what must have caused it. The queen always had ideologies and the king tolerated her excesses perhaps because of love, but in their opinion, she went too far this time. She had publicly embarrassed the king, refusing orders and mocking tradition… The town was outraged, and the chiefs frustrated, scared that this new recalcitrant trend would soon become the norm in the town and the wives become uncontrollable. They pressured the king to act fast as such matters could not be left to get “cold”. The judgement was that the King divorce her and she was to be sent packing back to her parents. It was done as quietly as possible and we heard she was lucky, as If it were to be in the olden days she would have been banished to the evil forest. In my opinion, these were all barbaric customs and traditions that needed to be outlawed.

After a few weeks the news died down and the city was back to his quiet self. I wasn’t however bothered by all of these as what was foremost on my mind was getting a job and helping to pull my weight in the house. My beloved uncle was getting old and the thought of him continuing with the menial jobs worried me! Ete mmi would tell me not to worry that Abasi provides for his people. I wanted a job in the city, but I couldn’t imagine leaving my uncle by himself to do all the work. I wanted to be there to take care of him as he had done for me.  I decided to therefore look for a job around whilst my mates went to the big city of Lagos to “hustle” as they say.

I soon got a job in the town’s secondary school. I was advised by many not to take the job as they felt it was fruitless! The students were always failing, they hadn’t recorded a single success in the WAEC exam in years! The school’s glory is dead they told me. You can do better than this, you have so much potentials, how can a first-class graduate be slaving away in Uyo, but i didn’t let that deter me. Ete mmi and I had prayed about this and my uncle was convinced that this was the right thing to do, that I had to take the job. 

I resumed at the Secondary school on a Monday I would never forget. The school was in a sorry state, dilapidated buildings, lackadaisical attitude to work and extreme lack of discipline.  They were short staffed, and I had to often take double or sometimes more subjects as all they had were Corp-members and old teachers. I got to work immediately and went above and beyond in my duty (If I say so myself, lol). This was not the economy I planned to make impact on, however I decided that this was my life and I was going to make the best of it. The new mantra was ‘Excellence’ ensuring that all the students excelled.  The students loved me as I made learning fun and they soon began to do well on their work. I put in the extra work and time, followed up on those that were absent, did after-school lessons and weekend lessons for free so they could catch up as the O’levels exams that were fast approaching.  It was difficult, it was hard work. It sounds very easy to say now and sounds like smooth sailing, but it was a period in my life that made me the person I am now. It molded me into some one strong. The children called me ‘Miss You can, Yes We can’. It was these words that I charged them with every day.  They needed to believe in themselves, that they could do it, that they could make something out of themselves. We prayed, learnt and helped the weaker ones catch up and we had fun, we laughed, we danced, we made the best of the entire situation. The whole town soon knew something different was happening, students were excited, parents doubtful, mockers watchful and I extremely prayerful.

The WAEC exams were drawing near and I had to focus on the SSS3 students as we had a lot to prove. We wrote the exams in May/June and it was then time to await the results, the school was on vacation and so we were all at home. I didn’t stop praying and trusting God. I enlisted the help of those I knew to pray with me. We started a prayer chain and had some praying at every time of the day for 30 minutes. The result was due in September just before schools resumed for the new session and I keenly awaited God to prove himself and allow the efforts of my students bear fruits.

I was at home one day when I heard my neighbors shouting, followed by a knock on my door… well what was left of the door.  I stepped out to see the king’s guards, they claimed they had been ordered to bring me at once.  I could see some of my nosey neighbors grinning wickedly and overheard them saying they knew I would soon get into trouble.  I said a silent word of prayer and followed. We got to the palace and I was surprised to see the school principal and teachers, even some students and almost all the townspeople had gathered! The king cleared his throat and spoke…I was lost in his rich sonorous voice, deep, yet soothing, I glanced at his beautiful face for this was my first time of seeing the king up close. I was away in my final year when his father died and as such didn’t witness his coronation. The king looked me in the eye, his eyes full of mischievous smile and his lips twitched a bit and i realized I had been caught staring. Gracefully he repeated himself, this time not taking his eyes off me.

He said…

See you all next week as we continue this exciting journey and our prayers is that the many lessons God has in store through this story are learnt. Stay tuned, God bless you all and do not forget that God loves you more than you can ever imagine. Please don’t forget to drop a comment and also tell a friend to tell a friend to read. Do follow us on all social media handle @Godlywomenarising

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P.S Any error in the use of language is ours as we tried to get to the best of our abilities the right words to use.