Conversations with God…Kiki

We are gradually coming to the end of this series titled: #ConversationswithGod. It has been for us a chance to have a sincere heartfelt conversation with our Father who is both loving and merciful. All we want is sincerity in the hope that someone who reads this is inspired to change, to live right. Our prayer is that we come to an enlightenment of all that our Father has in store for us. This letter is from Kiki and it is one that is simple but yet one that speaks volume. We know the Lord sees and we pray that help is close. Now dig in

Dear God,

My father, my friend, my lover seeing you today brings​ joy to my heart God.

Father I say thank you for giving me the best siblings and mother. I thank you for family and friends.

I am also grateful for everything you have done for me and all that you are still doing.

God please see me through these struggles that I go through and help me overcome them. Father, most times I cry because I am tired but your promises and the hope in your word keeps me going.

Father do not forget me ,I love you Lord. Father lead me in the right path in every aspect of my life, order my steps dear Lord.

Your daughter,

Kiki.

See you all next week as we continue this exciting journey. Stay tuned, God bless you all and do not forget that God loves you more than you can ever imagine. Also, we will continue our new series titled: #ConversationswithGod This is us simply writing a letter to God, no flowery words, just a sincere heart talking to the father. You can send us a mail at godlywomenarising@gmail.com. This can be done anonymously or you can drop your name. We hope to hear from you.

Please don’t forget to drop a comment and also tell a friend to tell a friend to read. Do follow us on all social media handle @Godlywomenarising

Conversations with God—Sylva

We are super excited to continue this series titled: #ConversationswithGod. It’s for us a chance to have a sincere heartfelt conversation with our Father who is both loving and merciful. For everyone who has asked us what they should write about, we have had one question for them: If you could see God this minute face to face sitting beside you what would you tell him, are there questions you would ask Him or it would just be thanking him for everything. We are not looking for flowery words or an English Thesis. All we want is sincerity in the hope that someone who reads this is inspired to change, to live right. Our prayer is that we come to an enlightenment of all that our Father has in store for us. This letter is from Sylva and it whispers the Father’s reassurance to my soul. It is a balm for the soul and will inspire you to be thankful. Now dig in

Late night talk with God

When I was much younger, all I wanted was the life I am living now. Perhaps, it’s a sign that I am on the right path. The evening is cold and the rain pitter-pattering against my window is getting louder. Still in the thunderstorm, I hear that voice whispering into my ears like he had in the past. He tells me to “… be still and know that I am God…” and then as those words match down my auricle to my spine, you reassure me with confirmatory words, “… for I know the thoughts I have for you, thoughts of good and not of evil to bring you an expected end…”. Those words echo through my being reminding me of who I am and whose I am, burying the boisterous thunderstorms to void. When I was much younger, I prayed to continue the communion I have with you. Perhaps, it’s a sign I am on the right path.

Let’s talk about the blessings you sent to me, shall we?
First my parents. How much I love them and as the days turned to weeks, a subtle reminder I will be a parent someday. Please bless them for me and keep them healthy. They shouldn’t come this far and not reap. Whisper to their ears how much I love them. I wish I could tell them myself, but I don’t know how to. I am not used to it, so please for me, tell them.

For Jenny, Kahlan, Kiki, David and Joe. My heart and love. What is my life without them. You sent the best siblings to me. I am even more glad that as they get older, they tend to fight less which is a good thing. But, I love them and all the uniqueness they bring. Bless them for me. Keep them and guide them to your light. Whisper my love to them.

For Helen and Victor. I can’t think of anyone that I love so much right now. Okay, am sure there are others, but these two stick. I don’t remember asking for buddies this close, but you sent them to me to hold and motivate me. I’ve drawn strength from the conversations I’ve had with them. Please bless them for me. Enlarge their coast and whisper my love and gratitude to them.

For my colleagues, Femi, Victor (lol, the other one). You know I have a truckload full of them. They are all wonderful people. Bless them too and may your blessings shower on their loving souls.

For my job and career. It gave me a purpose and a path. I pray for strength to keep up and maximize all the awesome potentials in my industry.

Let’s talk of my worries, shall we?
So of recent, I have had this unending lethargy towards a lot of things. I am not sure of the root cause, but in moments like these I just want to calm myself with those words that matched into my soul, “… for I know the thoughts that I have for you…” Crest these words on the table of my heart to keep me from falling or forgetting. I also know fear and pain is real, but so is your love and grace. Keep me through my trying times, both self-inflicted and external-caused. Teach me once again to trust in you like I should, for I no strength of my own.

Thank you for listening as always. Bless this night for me and thanks for sending the rain. Now I need to find my duvet.

Your Son,

Sylva

See you all next week as we continue this exciting journey. Stay tuned, God bless you all and do not forget that God loves you more than you can ever imagine. Also, we will continue our new series titled: #ConversationswithGod This is us simply writing a letter to God, no flowery words, just a sincere heart talking to the father. You can send us a mail at godlywomenarising@gmail.com. This can be done anonymously or you can drop your name. We hope to hear from you.

Please don’t forget to drop a comment and also tell a friend to tell a friend to read. Do follow us on all social media handle @Godlywomenarising

Conversations with God—Tee

We are excited to continue this series titled: #ConversationswithGod. It’s for us a chance to have a sincere heartfelt conversation with our Father who is both loving and merciful. For everyone who has asked us what they should write about, we have had one question for them: If you could see God this minute face to face sitting beside you what would you tell him, are there questions you would ask Him or it would just be thanking him for everything. We are not looking for flowery words or an English Thesis. All we want is sincerity in the hope that someone who reads this is inspired to change, to live right. Our prayer is that we come to an enlightenment of all that our Father has in store for us. This letter is from Tee. The style is unusual, however there are lessons to be learnt. Now dig in.

Dear God! You scared me!

Oh I just realized how that sounds… calling on you cause you startled me

I wasn’t just expecting you.

I know we talk from time to time… I just never thought I’d see you till I die

Wait, am not dead. Am i?

Oh how excited I am to see you!

I’m currently on my period so I’m kinda cranky… I have a few messages for Eve but let me pend that for our next discussion

I’d like to make the best use of this opportunity.

I’m sorry I haven’t been in church for a while… you know this job has taken my weekends

I can’t say I am happy at the job, but I am grateful

I remember the years I stayed at home: depressed and sorrowful,

I prayed for this job, any job. Just to leave home and come back

Now I have one, a good one. Thank you

You know we talked about using this job to feed my dreams right

I have been putting efforts lately, you see them?

I am sometimes discouraged about the results

Sometimes I want to quit

After all, I have a job

Dreams can wait….or die

But no! I cant

Not after all I have put in,

Not after the future you showed me

I must keep pushing mustn’t i?

I do hope I’m making you proud…though I wish you can speed up the process

Speaking of speed.. I wouldn’t mind… I mean I would love if you can tell me when I’ll be getting married

Cause it doesn’t seem like we’re on the same page of the calendar

I know I said I wanted to stand on my feet before marriage

But I feel like my legs are aching from standing for long without support

Lol

I know, I know you know best

But It wouldn’t hurt for you to let me in on some of these plans

Yes?

Okay, I will keep waiting and trusting

Now that you’re here God I’ll like to ask a couple of things

Oh wait! I have gotten ahead of myself again

If you came down, there must be a reason you wanted to see me

But I have again made it all about me

sigh I am sorry

Dear Father, what brought you here

See you all next week as we continue this exciting journey. Stay tuned, God bless you all and do not forget that God loves you more than you can ever imagine. Also, we will continue our new series titled: #ConversationswithGod This is us simply writing a letter to God, no flowery words, just a sincere heart talking to the father. You can send us a mail at godlywomenarising@gmail.com. This can be done anonymously or you can drop your name. We hope to hear from you.

Please don’t forget to drop a comment and also tell a friend to tell a friend to read. Do follow us on all social media handle @Godlywomenarising

Conversations with God—Dolapo

We are excited to continue this series titled: #ConversationswithGod. It’s for us a chance to have a sincere heartfelt conversation with our Father who is both loving and merciful. For everyone who has asked us what they should write about, we have had one question for them: If you could see God this minute face to face sitting beside you what would you tell him, are there questions you would ask Him or it would just be thanking him for everything. We are not looking for flowery words or an English Thesis. All we want is sincerity in the hope that someone who reads this is inspired to change, to live right. Our prayer is that we come to an enlightenment of all that our Father has in store for us. Our very second letter is from an amazing friend, while it is not as long as our usual articles, the humor is one that leaps at us and we pray that God sees this too. We know He does, now dig in.

Dear God,

It’s me again. Thanks for the other day, if you did not send that Angel, God(You) know I would be doomed. Anyway, I know I don’t need to write to You because You know how I feel but I just need to let it out. I know most times I may come as ungrateful but I really am grateful; I am just a glutton for being better. If I had a penny/new brain cell for everytime You got me out of serious trouble/death, I would be richer/wiser than Solomon. I guess what I am trying to say is I would be nothing without You. I have come so far and the thought of messing up sometimes scares the HELL out of me(pun intended 😁) but the thought of how much You love me calms me down. Thank You for putting me in a position where I can help out when I am needed and also, many thanks for putting me around good people.

Oh thank You for keeping my loved ones safe too. Wow! I feel better. Good talk Boss, we should do this more often. I tried calling You a while back but You weren’t picking; Adekunle said the same thing but thank You for acknowledging the missed call though. I will talk to You later.

Regards.

Oh P.S , about my better half yeah, I know You are on it and it’s not like I am rushing You but remember what we discussed? Exactly! Please take Your time because it’s the best.

Cheers.

See you all next week as we continue this exciting journey. Stay tuned, God bless you all and do not forget that God loves you more than you can ever imagine. Also, we will continue our new series titled: #ConversationswithGod This is us simply writing a letter to God, no flowery words, just a sincere heart talking to the father. You can send us a mail at godlywomenarising@gmail.com. This can be done anonymously or you can drop your name. We hope to hear from you.

Please don’t forget to drop a comment and also tell a friend to tell a friend to read. Do follow us on all social media handle @Godlywomenarising

Conversations with God—Oluchi

We are excited to start this new series titled: #ConversationswithGod. It’s for us a chance to have a sincere heartfelt conversation with our Father who is both loving and merciful. For everyone who has asked us what they should write about, we have had one question for them: If you could see God this minute face to face sitting beside you what would you tell him, are there questions you would ask Him or it would just be thanking him for everything. We are not looking for flowery words or an English Thesis. All we want is sincerity in the hope that someone who reads this is inspired to change, to live right. Our prayer is that we come to an enlightenment of all that our Father has in store for us. Our very first letter is from an amazing lady and friend, while it is not as long as our usual articles, the sincerity of the thanks is one that tugs at our hearts and we pray that God sees this too. We know He does, now dig in.

Dear God,
I am grateful for all You have done for me so far, for life, family, friends and foes. I am grateful for your faithfulness despite my unfaithfulness, amd I am sorry for the many times I have doubted your love, for the times I have disappointed and moved away from you from through my numerous sins. I have come to say thank you.
Its my birthday in 3 days dear Lord, all I ask is that your will upon my life be done, that you direct my every footstep from today henceforth above all help not to miss heaven which is the greatest treasure of all times.
I hope and pray my request will be given a great consideration. Thank you lord.
Yours faithfully,
Your daughter, Oluchi

See you all next week as we continue this exciting journey. Stay tuned, God bless you all and do not forget that God loves you more than you can ever imagine. Also, we will continue our new series titled: #ConversationswithGod This is us simply writing a letter to God, no flowery words, just a sincere heart talking to the father. You can send us a mail at godlywomenarising@gmail.com. This can be done anonymously or you can drop your name. We hope to hear from you.

Please don’t forget to drop a comment and also tell a friend to tell a friend to read. Do follow us on all social media handle @Godlywomenarising


WHY MARRY

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Joined together as one

Valentine has come and gone and yes, we know we are late to the party but better late than never. This post has been in the oven since last year and what better time than to share this with all of you than at a time when we are celebrating Love. We have a King and Lord who is the epitome of love, who has paid the eternal sacrifice for us. We are joined to him in an everlasting covenant which is what marriage, a covenant that bonds us together which is why Christ calls us his bride and him the bridegroom. Now we are going to be talking about #WhyMarry and we do not want spoilers so as usually dig in. However it is to be noted that this is a long post as such we crave your indulgence, settle in, get a glass of chilled wine and learn the lessons that are within.

A friend called me and said she wanted me to be a guest writer on her website, I was thrilled. Yea, the ability to reach a wider audience, who turns down such an offer? The next question was what do I write about? First concern: we strictly write on the Christian faith, our journey, the struggles and issues surrounding it and other life issues because that is the route we have decided to channel our gifts and that is the purpose GWA is heading towards. Do I go all religious?  Tone it down a bit? This is almost impossible… how do you tone down purpose! My second concern came after I had gone through the site.  It had a whole lot of varied content though Eva had given me free rein, so I could choose what I wanted to write on.

Fast-forward to a discussion with Zed on a shared interest in BOM (Break or Make up on Instagram) the issue of marriage came up and on and on we discussed, and Zed asked me the question that prompted this post: “Why do you want to get married?”

I went blank, totally speechless. Before now it had never occurred to me that there had to be a reason to get married apart from the obvious ‘we are in love with each other, it is the right thing to do, I am getting older, I am ripe for marriage” (this one makes me laugh) reasons for marriage that we often give. I could have answered any or all the above, but somehow for me the question or answer went beyond the obvious, it called for an inward look as to why I or you or anyone else should consider getting married. This here is an attempt to answer that question.

So, take one minute (or two if you need more) and ask yourself these questions

If you are married:

  • Why did you get married?
  • Why that person? Why not another person?

If you are single:

  • Why do you want to get married?
  • Why this person? Why not the other person asking you to marry him or her?

What answers did you come up with if you are truthful to yourself?

So, we asked some people the same questions on why they want to get married and for the singles these are the commonest reasons:

  • Companionship
  • Raising a family
  • To reduce or erase loneliness
  • Love
  • Increases responsibility

For the married ones, we ask why they were married, and the answers were the same as above with additional insight as to the reasons they knew this was the ’one

  • Sense of belonging
  • Sense of rightness
  • Peace in their heart
  • Someone who understood them, complemented them and brought out the best in them.

And finally, we asked someone who was engaged and about to get married and this was her response: “Well for me, getting married has never been a part of the plan because before now, I never saw the need to but it got to a point in my life when I met someone who loves me more than I love myself, who complements me in all ramifications, someone who sees me way better than I see myself. What I call my flaws are or appear to be strengths to him. With him I soar higher, achieve greater things and find peace. This was tested by ‘time and prayers.’ Then I knew I was ready and would be getting married to him.”

Love, Love and Love seems to be the driving force in a lot of relationships, the one cord that holds the whole, so let’s talk a little bit about love.

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This is what love is!

1st Corinthians 13:4-8 is the perfect base on which to hinge love. Let’s do a simple exercise. First start with yourself, I was reading a tweet yesterday and it said: ‘you keep praying for the right partner, are you a right partner yourself.’ It got me thinking, we, I inclusive keep praying about the right partner but am I the right person, what steps am I taking to make me the right person, are there areas of improvements and am I working on them. Okay back to our exercise; 1st Corinthians 13 talks about the attributes of love, so replace love with your name. So, it should go like this: ‘Helen is patient, Helen is kind…’ so are the qualities present in you, are there attributes you need to imbibe that are currently lacking, you need to be the best person for that best person you are waiting for. Now let’s move to the other person, replace their names with love and ask yourself does he or she possess the attributes of love, since I don’t have a significant other, I would use a unisex name: ‘Tolu is not proud, Tolu is not rude…’

I know, I know Humans are flawed, we are all imperfect but don’t forget that we are all constantly striving towards perfection. You hear them say that Love is not enough, that you need friendship, trust, respect etc. But then what is love? If you love someone shouldn’t you trust them, shouldn’t you respect them, shouldn’t they be your friend, shouldn’t you want the best for them. God loves us and has given us the perfect example of what love should be, He has given us himself and sent his son to die for us.

I love this passage of the Bible 1st John 4:18: “There is no fear in love; perfect love drives out all fear. So then, love has not been made perfect in anyone who is afraid, because fear has to do with punishment.” Most times our service to God is one borne out of a fear, not ‘the fear of the Lord’ but a fear of punishment, fear of ending up in hell, we do not love God because we ought to but because we think if we don’t then there is something He would do to us. I often ask God this: ‘Do not let the fear of hell or punishment cause me to love you, stir up in me a desire to love you with all my heart.”

Now that we are on the issue of fear and love, let’s talk to our friends who are in a relationship?

Yes, I know we have put in a lot of exercises, so it doesn’t become boring.

Now ask yourself a couple of questions?

  • Does the relationship leave you constantly afraid?
  • Are you always wondering what next would happen?
  • Are you never sure of where you stand?
  • Are there niggling doubts as to the rightness of your decisions?

Do you know that there is something wrong but live for the Instagram-worthy moments, the admiration of others, the likes and the loves and the comments, the oohs, awwws and the aahs? These moments seem to in our minds make up for the other not-so-good moments, the sometimes-physical abuse, the psychological both emotional, verbal and mental abuse. We pretend that it is a one-off never-to-be-repeated occurrence while we fearfully wait for the other shoe to be dropped. We lose ourselves and our self-esteem in the process, become less of a person because we want so desperately to be married, because time is moving at break-neck speed and we would rather endure a sham called love rather than leave.

The loved-up moments are so sweet and romantic that they leave you breathless, he steals your breath away you say, she will change you console yourself, I will pray, he or she will change for me. My love and constant devotion will make them change, on and on you deceive yourself, you are plagued with doubts. You make yourself a fixer of character, Mr/Miss fixer of human defect is it until your life is stolen that you would make that decision.

Why are you getting married?

Stop, ask yourself why?

  • Because he/she completes you
  • Because he/she gives you joy/happiness
  • Because he/she is your better half, that part that makes the whole come together.
  • To fill a void in your life.

The truth is your happiness does not depend on man, true happiness can only from a life dependent on God, only God can fill the void in your life and make you totally complete. You need to be enough for yourself, it is difficult especially when the pressure gets much, it is easy to just settle because time is passing, and you would rather be married than single.

Social media, music, movies and books seem to help sell the ideal of a love that is unattainable, and we often want to mirror that, and this often leaves us disillusioned when what we see doesn’t match what we get. Only God who is love is the foundation upon which love should be built. Only in him do we find happiness and fulfilment, only in God does everything make sense. You can take him away from your relationship or marriage and expect everything to be fine.

Have we left with you with more questions than answers?

I know, I started this as a means of me answering the question Why do I want to get married. However, it has shown the reasons that should not be the basis for your decision. Marriage is a vocation, one that should not be taken lightly. The wedding day with all the lights and colours is just one day, the marriage is for life. So, your reason for getting married should be clear cut. They say marriage is not in heaven, yet life on earth should prepare you for that. That said any marriage not leading you to heaven should not be something you be headed into. There might not be a loud voice saying to you: “My child stay clear” but there will be signs, that lack of peace that this is the right thing to do.

It is important to state that because you have been in a relationship for so long is still not enough reason to be married if you are not sure that this is the right thing to do. My answers are a mix of everything, the pressure is real, like there are days when I have to literally shut my eyes and ears not to be in that head-space, I want a family, I want love too, I want the companionship, you know that feeling that this person gets you for real, because this is my answer to God’s call on my vocation and because I believe that this is the person helping me in the process of becoming a princess fit for my King and God.  So am I there yet, I am that Miss right, no I am still a work in progress, I still have doubts, I still have fears, there are still questions in my head who would love or want me, would I get married, are my desires valid, are my standards high, am I not getting older and maybe I should lower my standards and the quick stab of envy when someone I know is getting married.

I have learnt so far that when you trust God all things work out in the end, that though the process be long and arduous, his plans as He says are for good and not for evil, to bring me to an expected end so while I am waiting, I am going to enjoy my singlehood, work on myself and be a princess fit for my King and God.

Now it is your turn to answer, WHY DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED?

See you all next week as we continue with #Aqueenlikenoother and our prayers is that the many lessons God has in store are learnt. Stay tuned, God bless you all and do not forget that God loves you more than you can ever imagine. Please don’t forget to drop a comment and also tell a friend to tell a friend to read, share and subscribe. Do follow us on all social media handle @Godlywomenarising

Image credit: Google

                                                                         

A Selfless Love story—-Part 3

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The new year just started, and we could not be more grateful that we are all alive to see the new year. We have a lot going on which would include moving to our official website and restructuring the organization’ All we ask is that you remember us in your prayers, read, share, comment, subscribe and generally live your life better and for Christ. I know you cannot wait to start reading the final part and we are so sorry that it is coming this late, now dig in

Where you go, I will go and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.

These words would be the reason why Mother allowed me to go with her and they would later become my source of encouragement when I questioned my coming to Nigeria. Mom watched me fall apart many more times, she feared for my health and as she watched me she prayed asking God why this had happened to us.

I remember vividly the morning before our trip to Nigeria, I was exhausted from the packing and arrangements and Mother asked us to commit the entire journey into God’s hands and with tears in our eyes we prayed : ‘Lord be gracious to us; we long for you, be our strength every morning, our salvation in time of distress’ (Isaiah 33:2).

A year after my best-man died we were on the shores of Nigeria. It was a totally different experience than what I was used to. It took a while getting used to life in Nigeria, the people and the culture. It was a learning experience as I saw that the things I took for granted meant a lot to people. We moved into Ikoyi which I would come to find out was one of the better living areas in the country. I remember one event that makes me laugh even now, I had gone with Mama to a wedding of a ‘family relative’, you know the cousin twice removed and you needed to see the arrays of asoebi, I was looking like a fish out of water, mother had warned but I decided to go with something comfortable, what struck me was the gift sharing, almost every group of friends and families had gifts to share. Weddings were usually not the loud affair it was in Nigeria.

We learnt to accept the death as part of life experience and stood by each other because we were all we had. People laughed at my decision to stay but I always remembered the promise of my selfless love. They could not comprehend the reason behind my coming to Nigeria as they felt there was nothing for me to do here, I had no family to speak of, no child and was a foreigner. I still felt the loss and slowly we moved from crying to praying, then we sang, laughed and danced and my heart was slowly healing. I had a mother in Mama. She was a rock, held me and walked me through life’s challenges.

6 months after I moved to Nigeria, I was done with the sight-seeing and the waking up each day not knowing where my life was headed. I decided it was time to start working but I was not ready for the drudgery of the corporate world. I wanted something that would keep me on my toes, make me feel alive and put to good use my creative talents. I started researching, I wrote down every plan, idea, strategy that came to mind. I was looking at what I was good at and what would be viable, and the idea came, I loved planning events and Nigeria did not have a shortage of events. So, I started my business—EventsandMore. It was rigorous at first navigating the event management industry. I attended seminars and workshops, learnt how active participation on social media helped the business grow, got acquainted with awesome vendors and yes, I had to do a couple free jobs. Mom was so proud and supportive, she would bless me every morning that God would grant favour to the works of my hand ‘At night she would anoint my head and pray I find happiness and a man who would complete me (LOL! Like I was thinking about getting married again.)

I would return home each day and talk to Hubby about my achievements and plans (He was hard to get over, but I did not feel the breathlessness I usually felt at the beginning, I had learnt to immerse myself in happy memories). I also started a workout routine and I’d run every morning on the Lekki- Ikoyi bridge with the song ‘He still loves me’ by Beyonce on replay (hubby’s favourite). I felt his warmth like he was taking a walk just beside me (*chuckles* He was my Mr. Macho.) 

My first paid job came 2 months after I had started EventsandMore. It was my friend Cynthia who had become a close friend since my movement to Nigeria. She got married to a distant cousin just a month after my wedding and had given birth to her daughter who happened to be my god-child a year ago. She had decided to celebrate Zara’s first birthday with the cartoon theme: FROZEN. I was super excited and got the team working to ensure that everything was perfect. The D-day came, and I was everywhere ensuring things went as planned. Trust us at EventsandMore, the event was superb, and everything was top-notch from the decoration, to the photography to the catering. I was impressed if I do say so myself.

The party ended around 6:00pm and the after party for the adults began which was organized by Cynthia’s husband. We played games, talked and danced to the songs of the 90’s. It was at that party that I met Kunle. Kunle was one of Cynthia’s closest friend in Uni. He was well built, looked smart and his eyes were such that you could drown in them. He was in his late thirties and in my mind, I had concluded that a man as handsome as he was already married with maybe two kids. I know you are wondering how I was able to notice him. I have this habit of studying people and building stories around them, it was often a way to pass time.  Kunle had also been watching me as I was watching him and when (in my own opinion which I am sure if you ask Kunle he would deny) he couldn’t hold himself any longer, he walked up to me and made small talk. During our conversation, he asked what I wanted in a man (I hadn’t thought about that in so long) I smiled and said respect, love, understanding and the fear of God. Cynthia caught this moment and told mom and they became our matchmakers. They planned one visit after another, date nights, they went the whole nine yards. SMH! I learnt that Nigerian parents loved to be in the know of things and knew how to spice things up. Mom and Cynthia would update Kunle of my where-about, Mr C.E.O became my guardian angel (lol! everywhere I went). He treated me with utmost respect and gave me the space and time to heal properly. Kunle was also a good writer so I was treated to poems and love notes.

I would wake up to dreams with my best-man in them, he begged that I let his memories fade. I This was a tough one for me because in as much as I was beginning to love Kunle, I sometimes felt it was a betrayal on the memory of my late husband. Mama talked and counselled me, but I needed to understand and grasp it myself. I learnt that sometimes we don’t get what we want but God provides what we need. I wanted to focus on growing my business, but God blessed me with more, He blessed me with a man after his own heart, a man who shared my vision and would make me a princess fit for my King and God. The promises in the words of the Psalmist in Psalm 147:3 came true for me: “For he heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wound”.

Kunle proposed in a small intimate setting on one of our vacations to Seychelles. I finally had my Instagram-worthy pictures. I wanted a small wedding considering this was my second wedding, but I had to reconsider as this was Kunle’s first wedding. It was everything we wanted and more, yes, I planned the event myself so were you expecting anything less than perfection. I look back and the word that comes to mind is beautiful. We had opted to write our own vows to each other and I would share mine with you all.

Here it goes: “Kunle Onitemi, you sauntered into my life when I was not looking, you showed me that God indeed blesses us more than we can imagine. I thought I was done with that part of my life, but you showed up and I knew all hope was not lost. With you I am ever reminded of how much God loves me. You are not perfect, yet you are mine showering me with unconditional love, being my friend and confidant and making me a princess fit for my King and God. I promise here before these witnesses to love, hold and cherish you, to be the best wife and help-mate for you till death do us part.” There was not a dry eye when we were done.

Kunle and I are with a son and a daughter, the two most precious gifts God could have given us. Kunle allowed for Mom to live with us, the kids and Kunle love her so much. He says Mama gifted him his most precious gift. We are not without challenges and each day is a learning experience, but we are blessed to have God as our head as we grow every day.

Thanks for listening to my story and just in case you have been wondering who this is my name is Ruth Coker, a woman loved by God, Kunle’s life partner, mother to Oluwanifemi and Oluwadarasimi Coker, daughter to Mama and an event planner extraordinaire.

We have picked valuable lessons to learn from the story of Ruth to share with you all.

  1. Loss and change is hard and more common than we know and dealing with grief can make us feel lost
  2. It is important to keep our promises and commitments
  3. Get to work, because something bad has happened is no reason to stop working.
  4. Have honourable intentions towards all.
  5. Make a move, don’t stay at a place and expect things to change.
  6. Having a noble character is key.
  7. Our decisions matter and never underestimate the power of your decisions, commitment, humility and integrity.
  8. We are all equal and important to God despite our race, gender or status.
  9. God uses little things to accomplish great plans.
  10.  Don’t let the past hold you back.

See you all next week as we officially start the year and thanks for sticking with us. Stay tuned, God bless you all and do not forget that God loves you more than you can ever imagine. Do follow us on all social media handle @Godlywomenarising

Image credit: Google