Self-righteousness and MERCY

I am not greedy, dishonest or an adulterer like everyone else.

I am not like this person or that person.
I fast regularly and I always pay my tithes.
I am always in the house of God.
I am this and that.
My tithes have become a bribe to God.
My everyday presence in His house a showmanship.
I listen to His word and all I can think of is this person or that other fellow should have been here. The word was meant for them not me.
I have stopped learning in the house of God; I have stopped growing.
I have missed out on the mercy of God.
I pray and all my prayers reek of self-conceit.
It’s always me, myself and I.
When I do remember others, it is to ask:
Why can’t she pray like this?
I know I can pray better than him.
Why is he behaving this way, doesn’t he know that he is a man of God?
Why is she dressed like this, isn’t she a pastor’s wife?
Why isn’t her English impeccable, I am sure I can preach better than she does.
After they will see that God called them, who hasn’t God called.
On and on I go without taking a breath, without stopping to think.
Look at that girl who commits fornication. Don’t I know her, she thinks I don’t know how many abortions she has committed, yet she is at the choir stand singing like she is a saint.
Don’t I know that boy, I knew him since he was in diapers and I knew how he was a street boy and now he comes to preach to me, what does he want to say?
My mind and thoughts roam and roam and I lose the blessings of God.
I forget that it is for the sick that Christ came, not for those who have no need of Him.
I do not remember that He searches the heart and thoughts of us all.
I have thrown away all his teachings even that of all He wants is mercy not sacrifice.
I have ostracized, condemned and made others sinners?
How can I be a sinner?
I do all that the bible teaches. So it has to be them not me.
I forget that sometimes people sin out of ignorance; that God has made all people prisoners of disobedience that He might show mercy to them all.
I am no longer grateful for God’s mercy even though I was once a sinner that had persecuted, offended and insulted God.
I have not removed the speck in my eyes but continually look for the log in other peoples’eyes.
I have thrown away the kindness and love of God our saviour that was revealed when He saved me, who was a slave to passions and pleasures of all kinds.
It was by His great mercy that He gave us new life by raising Jesus Christ from death and filling us with a living hope. No, it doesn’t come to mind.
Pride had taken root in my life and I no longer see myself as someone in need of God’s mercy.
I don’t seem to know that passage that says: “Don’t judge so that you won’t be judged.”
I have made myself Judge and jury.
I am ready to condemn everyone who I see as one deviating from the ‘true’ path.
I forget that mercy will always triumph over justice.
I am in need of God’s mercy every day and time, yet I don’t acknowledge that fact.
Until I drop that garment of self-righteousness, I will continually lose out on the inexhaustible mercy and blessings of God.
For God has come not for the righteous but for the sinner- that sinner I am.

I used ‘I’ because I also accuse myself. One way or the other we have fallen into the trap of self-righteousness.



HIS Will

Have you ever prayed for something and not gotten it. I remember praying for something and I had prayed and fasted and yet I didn’t get it. I had always asked for God’s will to be done and the ability to accept that will. It was sure hard to accept it because I had wanted it for so long, I had felt that he would grant it to me but it wasn’t His will for me.

How do you explain to someone who lost a loved one that it’s God’s will or someone who lost a job for no reason that it was the will of God. God’s will can be perfect or permissive. There is nothing that happens without God’s knowledge. It’s either this is what He wants to do or He permits it to happen, either way He knows.

Remember the story of Job, God permitted the devil to hurt Job. Without that permission, the devil won’t have acted.

When next you pray and you don’t get that response that you desired, still know that God knows, He hears every prayer, He sees every tear and don’t give up because in time He will answer. His will not yours will always be done.

Say no to insurgency and Yes to a peaceful Nigeria.


She is lost and cannot find her way. She has been tossed and turned by life and from its belly it has spat her out and she is ragged.
She looks back with no end in sight.
She says let me look forward but she still sees a future that is bleak.
She feels like she carries the weight of the world on her tiny shoulders and the weight daily crushes her.
She feels the waves of life threaten to swallow and she hopes the Christ she has heard of would walk on the waters again and pull her out, that He would once again ride in the boat, speak to the waves and calm would be restored.
She reaches out to success and time and again, it eludes her. Oh she wonders if she suffers from what they call ‘near-success’ syndrome. She can’t think of any other reason why she can’t succeed except her God is punishing her. She thinks May be, just may be that’s the reason why the stories of freedom from sin, poverty and suffering are just stories to her.
In the stillness of the night, she sits and questions Him who created her, who formed her in her mother’s womb and knew her through and through.
She says :”Are you punishing me Lord?, why are you being a just judge instead of a merciful father?, why does your wrath burn hot against your daughter? ” but deep in her heart she pleads and begs Him to understand that these words that come from her mouth are those of a ravaged soul desperate for redemption.
She, who was thrown to the wolves. She who forgot what it was to be a child and had to grow up too soon. She who had her innocence snatched out of her hands. She knows He sees all but she can’t help but think He is silent. Yes her head tells her so, He should have acted a long while ago but He kept silent and watched her go through all the pains and suffering, He kept silent when He could have stopped it all with just a single word.
She reminds herself of all His promises, of His faithfulness, of all the times He had been there for her but the pain in her soul is too deep to ignore, it threatens to consume her. She has walked this road for far too long and the journey has been exhausting. She discards the norms of prayer learnt ages past and decides to just talk with Him. That’s what prayer was- communication. She is willing to dialogue with him. She had read that Abraham did this with God. He had to stop and listen to her. She who was his daughter and had carried this burden for so long. She asks why He didn’t do anything to stop her pain from happening, why success fails to be hers. She closes her eyes with the weight of unshed tears but there is hope in her heart; hope for a better tomorrow and a brighter future. It’s all she has left- faith and hope and she prays that this time it’s just enough.

And she hears a voice that says to her:
“Oh how I wish you knew how much I love you,
Oh how I wish you understood the depth of my mercy,
Oh how I wish you knew that my mercy would triumph over justice,
Oh how I wish you knew that I was there everytime you hurt.
I love you just as if you were the only one in the world. My plans for you are good and I know you find it hard to believe but trust in my infinite goodness and know that the work I have started in you I would complete. I am the potter, let me break you, shape you and mould you as I wish. Allow me use you for my glory. The road will be difficult, filled with falls and tears but I will be with you each step of the way. I know you have been hurt, I know my daughter all the pain you have been through, I am the healer and I will heal and make you whole. My words are my bond, they must always be fulfilled. Trust, obey me and have faith. Peace I leave you.”

She opens her eyes and the tears fall. She weeps for her pain, for the many times she had been hurt, for the times she had tried to do it on her own, for the times she had professed her love for her God and had offended Him. She weeps for the countless occasions she had retraced her steps only to go back to her vomit. She weeps for this person she has become; broken, used and discared. She weeps for this person she has become, this person she cannot recognise. And she prays from deep within; for mercy, for healing, for peace, for hope, for forgiveness, for faith. She prays for strength to move ahead, to do better, to live better. Her frantic cry is a continuous rendition of :” Help me Lord, I cannot do this on my own.” She knows the journey won’t be any easy and that the way would be rough. She knows that she would still have questions for Him, times when she would want to give up. But for now there is peace in Her heart, her soul is at rest trusting in Him who is more than able to do as He has promised.

Say no to insurgency and Yes to a peaceful Nigeria. GOD BLESS YOU ALL.