I have missed blogging but I have had a lot going on in my life and yes I have missed all my wonderful readers. I hope I will be able to come back to blogging full time sooner than later.
This post is dedicate to all loonely people and all those who seem to be in the “single and seriously searching” group but most especially to my beautiful friend ‘IYAWO’, do not worry very soon we will come and do ‘ASO-EBI’.
I never imagined I would sit down and be doing a post or article (I never seem to know which to use) on loneliness. However, I was talking with a friend and she said “she was lonely” and this feeling of loneliness stemmed from the fact that she did not have a boyfriend or a guy or a lover or a husband (whichever one you like call it) and it took me back to a period in my life when I felt exactly the same way. A good friend of mine (name withheld, don’t try to harass the name out from me, I won’t tell) told me; to learn a craft, to learn to play an instrument, dance, do something, be happy, have fun, make friends and enjoy the days of singlehood.
Moreover, it brings me to the topic: “LONELINESS.” Let us get a little help from the dictionary. It defines ‘loneliness’ as a feeling of depression resulting from being alone (depression sef is even another big word but you get the gist right, the loneliness is as a result of being alone). It is a nice feeling to love and be loved (all right before some people will crucify me, scrap nice. It is a wonderful feeling or rather its one of the best feelings on planet earth.)
Wait a second! What happens when you do not have that “someone” to love? What happens when that “special one” refuses to show up in your life? What happens when it feels like all the “good ones” are taken? (How we manage to come up with these adjectives beats my imagination but that is a topic for another day) Does your life go on hold, do you press a pause button while waiting for Mr. or Miss Special, or do you stop living just because you have not found “someone” to call your own.
Your happiness does not depend on anyone. It depends on you. If you are not happy with yourself, a man or a woman will not make you happy. We often make the mistake of thinking that having someone too call your own would make a difference. I have often heard that marriage is a life imprisonment sentence and we should choose our cellmates carefully (I would not know how true that is considering the fact that I have never being married but I think some part of me agree with that.) I have also heard the saying: ‘Marry in haste, repent in leisure.” This all alludes to the fact that marriage is something to tread upon lightly.
We all want to be cuddled (I personally enjoy cuddling and talking), to lie and watch the stars, to enjoy a dinner date with someone you love, to kiss, to be truly and absolutely in love (the list of things to do is endless) but then life does not just stop moving because this is not happening. You can decide to be miserable and keep waiting for that ‘special someone’ (I am waiting for the ‘special right someone’ and I pray he comes quickly but until then I will enjoy my life to the fullest but then I have heard that some guys are commitment-phobic, am just saying). You can decide to have fun and be happy (like me even though I will confess it is often difficult considering the fact that I can be a loner at times ) and be the best you can be (I am striving towards that now). Someday definitely God-willing in His own time He will send the right person your way (you can speed up matters by praying like I am doing or ask others to pray like I am asking you all to do but then don’t forget that God does things in His own time).
Loneliness is a decision; Happiness is equally a decision. Choose today which you would be: lonely or happy. I choose to be happy and may be the rains will come and I can finally dance in the rain with someone I love (I would really love to do that). The truth of the matters remains that it is your choice to allow things you cannot change affect your lives. In due season, the “right one” will show up.
So have fun, be happy!
Say no to insurgency and YES to a peaceful Nigeria.